From The Diary Of John Madden

Dear Diary,

Another football season is about to start and I’m sooo excited. But best of all, diary, I’m getting inducted into the Hall of Fame next week. See, they really like me, so take that, Pat Summerall! And the best part of being in the Hall of Fame is everyone will have to totally kiss my ass. Whenever I feel like it, I can just say, “Shut it, Bob Costas,” or “Bite me, Cris Collinsworth.” That’s going to be totally great. And dumb ‘ol Al Michaels, yeah, he’s totally going to feel the Wrath of John. Maybe I won’t even let him talk at all on our new show. Wouldn’t that be great?

Speaking of the new show, I am so bummed there’s not a single game involving the Green Bay Packers and Captain Favrelous. Those stupid bitches at ESPN get two Favrelicious games, how come I get none? I do get see Big Ben a couple times, which is great, and then Peyton Manning and Tom Brady (xxxooo), but no Brettmeister this year. I sure will miss you, Superfavre. You’ll always be the bestest in the world.

JM

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