oddsnark » Track and Field

“Honestly, We Just Sort of Make This Shit Up as We Go… I Mean, Who Cares, it’s Track and Field, for God’s Sakes’

oddSeth — Thu, 15 Nov 2007 20:57:59 +0000

Marion Jones’ recent admission to loving the ‘roids and other performance enhancing drugs has put the IOC in quite the bind as far as what to do with official results for past events she medaled in.

“IOC officials said Thursday they are considering the unprecedented step of leaving the gold-medal spot vacant following Marion Jones’ confession that she used performance-enhancing drugs.

“That could be a solution,” said IOC board member Denis Oswald, a member of the three-man disciplinary commission dealing with the Jones case.

Although the original second-place finisher normally would be upgraded to the gold, the International Olympic Committee is reluctant to give the medal to Greek sprinter Katerina Thanou because she was caught up in a doping scandal at the 2004 Athens Games.

“In a way, it’s logical and consistent that we should just move her up, but there is another feeling,” Oswald said in an interview during a break in the world anti-doping conference. “We’ll see how insistent she (Thanou) is. The best way would be not to do anything and just leave it as it is and there is no gold.”

IOC president Jacques Rogge told The Associated Press no final decision had been made but that “anything was possible,” including leaving the result blank.

Translation: Because there are so many damn cheaters, we’d rather simply no one win. But that’s tricky, because technically that cheater Thanou should get the gold, except we didn’t know she was a damn cheater at the time, and it was only later that she got in trouble for cheating. Hopefully she’ll be too embarrassed to pipe up and ask for the gold, so we can just give it to no one, and everyone will be happy.

But really, who knows. Were just sort of making this shit up as we go, so, you know, we’ll see what happens. I mean, hell, we might end up giving a gold medal or two to you, if it turns out that everyone else in the race was hepped up on goofballs.

Marion Jones Is Raging

oddJoe — Fri, 05 Oct 2007 16:32:05 +0000

In the latest big-time sports scandal to hit the headlines, Olympic gold medalist Marion Jones has admitted she used steroids before competing in the Sydney games in 2000 and is pleading guilty to federal charges related to an investigation into steroid use. She’ll also probably lose those medals she won there in Australia. But didn’t Bill Belichick teach us that you ain’t competin’ if you ain’t cheatin’? I’m so confused.

But seriously, what is with all the washed up athletes getting busted for the roids? First Tim Couch gets suspended (as opposed to the suspension imposed by teams that didn’t want to sign him in the first place) and now Ms. Jones. It’s all so depressing.

Astronaut Suni Williams to Run Boston Marathon From Space

oddSeth — Fri, 30 Mar 2007 13:21:30 +0000

Astronaut Suni Williams is registered for next month’s Boston Marathon but unfortunately even though she’ll still be be stuck on the international space station when the other ~~marathoners~~ crazy running people not being chased by bears line up for the race. So she’s going to run it from space on a treadmill, and the Boston Athletic Association (who runs the event) has emailed her a special runner’s bib to print out and wear, along with a finisher’s medal.

Cool story, and I think I’ll join in myself, to show my support, and run the entire Boston Marathon while sitting in my cube chair. You go, all of you crazy running people!

Medal Detectives Find Grigorieva’s Gold

oddJoe — Fri, 04 Aug 2006 14:22:53 +0000

How about some good news to carry you into the weekend? Earlier this week, police were able to recover an Olympic silver medal that had been stolen from Australian pole vaulter Tatiana Grigorieva. The medal, which the Russian-born athlete won at the 2000 Summer Games in Sydney, was among a stash of personal mementos stored in a safe that was stolen a few weeks ago. Police also recovered a gold medal Grigorieva won in 2002 at the Manchester Commonwealth Games. Tatiana, in addition to being a world class pole vault champion, is also a successful model and could easily win a medal in an Olympic wet t-shirt contest if only wet t-shirt competitions were an Olympic sport. Maybe some day.

Justin Gatlin is Faster Than You Are

oddSeth — Fri, 12 May 2006 18:17:42 +0000

Justin Gatlin just broke the 100-meter world record Friday with a time of 9.76 seconds at the Qatar Grand Prix, bettering the previous time by a scant .01 seconds.

This means that, whoever you are, you’re slower than Justin Gatlin. Yes, it’s true. Deal with it.

The following people are also slower than Justin Gatlin, so you’re in good company:

Tamsin Lewis: Australian 500M runner

oddSeth — Fri, 11 Nov 2005 16:46:59 +0000

Cons: Yet to win an Olympic medal.
Pros: Trains hard on the beach every single day.