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Provincial Report

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The Provincial Report: Ohio State

By oddJoe ⋅ November 13, 2007 ⋅ Post a comment

Out in Columbus, Ohio, they like, well, uh, they pretty much just like football. College football. THE Ohio State University college football, to be exact. But there’s really only one goal for THE OSU Buckeyes and that is to win THE mythical college football national championship, otherwise known as THE Allstate BCS National Championship on […]

The Provincial Report: Boston College

By oddJoe ⋅ November 6, 2007 ⋅ Post a comment

Out in Boston, Mass., they like their baseball teams to be championship in caliber, their beans to be baked, and their tea parties to be thrown by revolutionaries. As for their football, well, they really like the New England Patriots. But I’m sure they would root just as loudly for the Boston College Eagles if […]

The Provincial Report: Nebraska

By oddJoe ⋅ October 30, 2007 ⋅ Post a comment

Out in Lincoln, Nebraska, they like … oh heck, let’s dispense with the formalities here. The Cornhuskers suck. They’ve kinda sucked for a couple years now and Bill Callahan isn’t going to get this ship turned around anytime soon. Tom Osborne is there for one reason and one reason only — to find Callahan’s replacement […]

Provincial Report: South Carolina

By oddJoe ⋅ October 24, 2007 ⋅ Post a comment

The good people down in Columbia, South Carolina, like their Presidents to be Wilsonesque, their Sex and the City characters to not be named Carrie, Miranda, or Samantha, and their Hooties to be paired with Blowfish, but most of all they like their football to be collegiate in style and that is why we are […]

The Provincial Report: LSU

By oddJoe ⋅ October 16, 2007 ⋅ Post a comment

Down in Baton Rouge they like their Cajun cooking, crooked politics, and watching Randy Jackson on American Idol. They also love their college football and have been waiting since 2003 for the LSU Tigers to get another shot at the national championship. Looks like they might have to wait a little longer.
LSU’s journey to […]

The Provincial Report: USC

By oddJoe ⋅ October 9, 2007 ⋅ Post a comment

Out in Hollywoodland they like anything that jiggles, wiggles, or sparkles. They like winners in California — nothing else will do — so it’s no big surprise that the celebrity elite have been flocking to the USC Trojans over the past few years.
How dejected they all must have been when the mighty Trojan army […]

The Provincial Report: Florida

By oddJoe ⋅ October 2, 2007 ⋅ Post a comment

Down in Gainesville, Florida, they like their sports drinks to be thirst quenching, their Torpedoes to be Damned and their football to be of the collegiate variety. Unfortunately, the Florida Gators stumbled a bit this weekend when they allowed Auburn to get out in front early and then lost on a 43-yard Wes Byrum field […]

The Provincial Report: Penn State

By oddJoe ⋅ September 25, 2007 ⋅ Post a comment

In State College, Pennsylvania, they like their valleys to be happy, their counties to be central, and their football to be of the collegiate variety. But this weekend things were not so joyful in Happy Valley as the Nittany Lions fell to Michigan 14-9. In a normal year this might not be such a terrible […]

The Provincial Report: Notre Dame

By oddJoe ⋅ September 17, 2007 ⋅ Post a comment

Up in West Bend, Indiana, they like their domes golden, their parochial students to be papists, and their football to be collegiate. Or at least they did until this year. The Fighting Irish of Notre Dame got whacked yesterday with a whacking stick by Michigan 38-0 and are now 0-3 for just the second time […]

The Provincial Report Has Got The Big Blues

By oddJoe ⋅ September 11, 2007 ⋅ Post a comment

Up in Ann Arbor, Michigan, they like their pharmaceuticals named Pfizer, their Presidents named Ford, and their filmmakers named Burns, but most of all they are fanatical about their college football. At least they were until an A-Bomb called Appalachian State was dropped on the Big House two weeks ago. But the Wolverines fall from […]