So with the first round of the playoffs over, we finally get to the good stuff. And you know what else is good stuff? Beer. And equating things to beer is even better stuff, so put on your beer goggles and take a peek at what to expect in the semifinals of the Stanley Cup race.

In the Eastern Conference we have the Sabres matched with the Rangers and Ottawa taking on the Devils. Both these series pit different flavored teams against one another, with lightning offense taking on stout defense. Kind of like a Black and Tan. And just like in a well-poured Black and Tan, I expect the heavy, Guinness-like defense of New York and New Jersey to sink to the bottom against the scoring power of Buffalo and the Sens. It’ll take some time though, so stock that fridge for plenty of overtime games and a big fat Game 7 at the end.

Out in the West the Red Wings will attempt to make it to the conference finals for the first time since 2002 when they take on the Sharks. Now the team from Detroit is kind of like Budweiser in that it’s so big and dominant that it’s hard to think anyone can beat it, yet it doesn’t taste very good. San Jose, on the other hand, is more of an acquired taste, like a fruity microbrew with boysenberries. I don’t understand boysenberry beer or why anyone would drink it, but I really don’t like Bud, so my money is on the Sharks to steal this one in six.

The other Western match-up pits Vancouver against the Ducks of Anaheim. If Detroit is the Budweiser of the NHL, the Canucks are more like the Molsen of the league: Big and well-known, but so often overlooked (in the US, that is) that it might as well be a specialty brew. The Ducks, meanwhile, are like one of those trendy brands that brewers try to sell to people who don’t really like beer, like Michelob Ultra or Zima. Yeah, I’ll take Molsen over Zima any time.

I don’t know, though. When I think of hockey rivalries, I think of Montreal and Toronto, or Rangers and Flyers, or Calgary and Edmonton. Those are rivalries. Sharks vs. Predators? Sounds more like a cheesy monster movie than an NHL rivalry.

The chase for the Cup gets underway on Wednesday when the Penguins of Pittsburgh face off against the Ottawa Senators. The Pens, of course, have that young phenom Sidney Crosby, who led the league with 120 points, including 36 goals. The Sens, meanwhile, have a bunch of players not named Sidney Crosby, but they do have Dany Heatley and goalie Ray Emery. Still, they don’t have anyone named Crosby or Jordan Staal or Evgeni Malkin, so I’m pretty sure Ottawa is going down in the first round (sorry Canada), but this could be the best series of the whole post-season.

Also on Wednesday, the Dallas Stars get their series underway against Vancouver. Now you might be thinking you heard once that Dallas is pretty good, but that was in 1999 when they won the Cup; this Stars team is the one that sorta just gets into the playoffs and then gets booted in the first round. The Canucks, with the Sedin twins and goalie Roberto Luongo will be tough to beat this year.

You’ve also got the Minnesota Wild kicking off their series against Anaheim. This should be a pretty good series, too, since this is Minnesota’s first trip to the playoffs since the first Bush was president and they had a team called the North Stars, so those fans in Minneapolis should be plenty fired up. It might even be enough for them to steal this one away from The Team Formerly Known as The Mighty Ducks.

Lastly, the San Jose Sharks take on the Nashville Predators. The Preds look pretty good on paper, but they play in a division with Chicago, Columbus, and St. Louis, so looks can be deceiving. Still, I’m picking Music City over Silicon Valley because Sharks fans cursed themselves last year by booing the Canadian national anthem.

On to Thursday night and more Eastern Conference action, the Buffalo Sabres start their run for the Cup with a little practice time against the Islanders, while the New Jersey Devils go through the motions against Tampa Bay. The Isles have no hope of making it past the first round, but it’s nice to see them back in the hunt, I guess. The only hope for Tampa is . . . well, there really is no hope for them either.

The last series in the East is the Rangers vs. the Thrashers. The who? That’s right, the Atlanta Thrashers are not only in the playoffs but they are in as a division champion. Of course, saying Atlanta had the best team in the Southeast is like saying you’re the smartest one on the short bus. Still, the mighty NY Rangers aren’t much better and will probably get booted in the first round.

That leaves us with Calgary and Detroit. Yes, Detroit is one of the best in the league and the top seed in the West, but how can you possibly root for the Red Wings? That’s like rooting for the Yankees, yawn. Plus, they’re owned by a pizza empire, a bad pizza empire at that. No, everyone out there should be rooting on the plucky Flames to score an upset here, and they just might, though it’ll mean they have to win at least one on the road, which they haven’t been able to do often this year. But this is the playoffs and everything changes now.

So America, are you ready for some hockey?

Montreal and Toronto battle it out tonight for the eighth seed in the East with a one-point margin separating the two teams. Les Habitants have lost eight of their last 10 games on the road, while the mighty Maple Leafs are looking to match a franchise record nine straight wins at home.

But don’t forget about the New York Islanders. The Isles are just two points behind the Canadiens with two games left to play, so a loss by Montreal could open the door for the team from the suburbs. New York squares off against the awful, retched Flyers this afternoon but they’ll need to get past the division champion Devils if they want a shot at post-season glory.

Speaking of division champions, the top spot in the Northwest division is still up for grabs with Vancouver enjoying a one-point margin over the Minnesota Wild. The Canucks could clinch the title if they can beat the red-hot Sharks tonight, but San Jose is playing for their own division title, needing a win and a loss by Anaheim to best the Ducks in the Pacific. Minnesota, meanwhile, gets a break as they play the not as bad as last year but still not very good St. Louis Blues.

There’s more excitement in the West, though, as Calgary tries to fend off Colorado for the eighth seed in the playoff. Three points is the margin, but both teams have two games to play. The Flames host the provincial rival Oilers tonight and could clinch with a win, but a loss would open the door for the Avs, who play Nashville at home. The two teams square off tomorrow in what could be a do-or-die showdown.

Now with all that going on in the world of hockey, you’d think that the NHL’s national broadcast partner would be pleased as punch and scrambling to get some of these great games on the air. You’d think. But, alas, NBC reached into the grab-bag of games months ago when they scheduled their Sunday afternoon games and pulled out a blockbuster match-up between the Dallas Stars and the Chicago Blackhawks. Wow!

NBC, if you are going to be the hockey network, and we all think you should, you need to show a little passion for this new sport you’ve aligned yourselves with. How about you put a call into whoever you put these calls into and put on the Montreal-Toronto game tonight. Even better, how about a double header with the Flames and Sharks on late. Seriously, you can bump that three-hour block of Let’s Make A Deal or No Deal or reruns of Law & Order for some hockey, no one will care. But hockey fans will love you and richly reward you with ratings for it.

That male is Mike Ricci, possibly the ugliest man in hockey. In a heated playoff game between the Calgary Flames and the San Jose Sharks, flames fan started a chant of “Ricci’s Ugly”.

To quote Jeff Foxworthy, “If 17,000 fans start chanting “you’re ugly.” You might just be ugly”

The west has some crazy competition going on and for the past 2 months or so when one team wins or a team loses they can go from 3rd to 8th. This is all due to the structure of the conference and the whole Northwestern Division.

Anyway, here’s my list.

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Let’s summarize where the significant players went and what for. By significant players I mean players that we’ve all heard of. If I did every player that got traded you wouldn’t read this post as I wouldn’t type it.
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