Or maybe I’ll just move it Kansas City.

I decided to write you this letter because I thought you might be feeling a little down right about now. I know it must be tough being one of the richest men in your country — where wealth is still measured in seal pelts and bear claws, right? — and been denied your own hockey team not one but twice. I just wanted you to know that there are some of us who are still pulling for you Jim, so keep your chin up.

You put together the best deal you could for the Predators. I mean, come on, $220 million is nothing to sneeze at, right? But then those jerks down there in Nashville just yank the rug right out from under you and sell the team to some bunch of local hillbillies for only $180 million. They don’t understand this sport like you do, they don’t deserve to own a team. I feel for you.

And how about that stupid league, huh? They say you can’t move a team to Hamilton, Ontario because it would infringe on the Leafs territory, well I say they don’t know Moosehead from LaBatts if they can’t see how great it would be to have a team in Hamilton.

But don’t you worry Jim, your time will come. You hang around long enough some other team will come up for sale. It might be the Florida Panthers or maybe those jackholes in Columbus will get tired of owning the Bluejackets. Heck, maybe Gretzky will finally give up on the Coyotes and you can move them back to Winnipeg where they belong. (No hockey team deserves to be playing anywhere called Jobing.com Arena. You gotta save them!)

So keep your head up Jim, you’ll get your chance. And then you can bring home a hockey team and be the pride of Canada we all knew you could be. We believe in you.

oddJoe and the oddsnark gang

I don’t know, though. When I think of hockey rivalries, I think of Montreal and Toronto, or Rangers and Flyers, or Calgary and Edmonton. Those are rivalries. Sharks vs. Predators? Sounds more like a cheesy monster movie than an NHL rivalry.

Her picks this year are the Detroit Red Wings, Minnesota Wild, Nashville Predators, Buffalo Sabres, New Jersey Devils, Atlanta Thrashers and Pittsburgh Penguins and the Vancouver Canucks.

SO are you smarter then a monkey?   or know more about hockey then a monkey?    Then make your first round picks and see who does better.       Or just sit back and watch how the ‘experts’ lose to the monkey.

The chase for the Cup gets underway on Wednesday when the Penguins of Pittsburgh face off against the Ottawa Senators. The Pens, of course, have that young phenom Sidney Crosby, who led the league with 120 points, including 36 goals. The Sens, meanwhile, have a bunch of players not named Sidney Crosby, but they do have Dany Heatley and goalie Ray Emery. Still, they don’t have anyone named Crosby or Jordan Staal or Evgeni Malkin, so I’m pretty sure Ottawa is going down in the first round (sorry Canada), but this could be the best series of the whole post-season.

Also on Wednesday, the Dallas Stars get their series underway against Vancouver. Now you might be thinking you heard once that Dallas is pretty good, but that was in 1999 when they won the Cup; this Stars team is the one that sorta just gets into the playoffs and then gets booted in the first round. The Canucks, with the Sedin twins and goalie Roberto Luongo will be tough to beat this year.

You’ve also got the Minnesota Wild kicking off their series against Anaheim. This should be a pretty good series, too, since this is Minnesota’s first trip to the playoffs since the first Bush was president and they had a team called the North Stars, so those fans in Minneapolis should be plenty fired up. It might even be enough for them to steal this one away from The Team Formerly Known as The Mighty Ducks.

Lastly, the San Jose Sharks take on the Nashville Predators. The Preds look pretty good on paper, but they play in a division with Chicago, Columbus, and St. Louis, so looks can be deceiving. Still, I’m picking Music City over Silicon Valley because Sharks fans cursed themselves last year by booing the Canadian national anthem.

On to Thursday night and more Eastern Conference action, the Buffalo Sabres start their run for the Cup with a little practice time against the Islanders, while the New Jersey Devils go through the motions against Tampa Bay. The Isles have no hope of making it past the first round, but it’s nice to see them back in the hunt, I guess. The only hope for Tampa is . . . well, there really is no hope for them either.

The last series in the East is the Rangers vs. the Thrashers. The who? That’s right, the Atlanta Thrashers are not only in the playoffs but they are in as a division champion. Of course, saying Atlanta had the best team in the Southeast is like saying you’re the smartest one on the short bus. Still, the mighty NY Rangers aren’t much better and will probably get booted in the first round.

That leaves us with Calgary and Detroit. Yes, Detroit is one of the best in the league and the top seed in the West, but how can you possibly root for the Red Wings? That’s like rooting for the Yankees, yawn. Plus, they’re owned by a pizza empire, a bad pizza empire at that. No, everyone out there should be rooting on the plucky Flames to score an upset here, and they just might, though it’ll mean they have to win at least one on the road, which they haven’t been able to do often this year. But this is the playoffs and everything changes now.

So America, are you ready for some hockey?

Montreal and Toronto battle it out tonight for the eighth seed in the East with a one-point margin separating the two teams. Les Habitants have lost eight of their last 10 games on the road, while the mighty Maple Leafs are looking to match a franchise record nine straight wins at home.

But don’t forget about the New York Islanders. The Isles are just two points behind the Canadiens with two games left to play, so a loss by Montreal could open the door for the team from the suburbs. New York squares off against the awful, retched Flyers this afternoon but they’ll need to get past the division champion Devils if they want a shot at post-season glory.

Speaking of division champions, the top spot in the Northwest division is still up for grabs with Vancouver enjoying a one-point margin over the Minnesota Wild. The Canucks could clinch the title if they can beat the red-hot Sharks tonight, but San Jose is playing for their own division title, needing a win and a loss by Anaheim to best the Ducks in the Pacific. Minnesota, meanwhile, gets a break as they play the not as bad as last year but still not very good St. Louis Blues.

There’s more excitement in the West, though, as Calgary tries to fend off Colorado for the eighth seed in the playoff. Three points is the margin, but both teams have two games to play. The Flames host the provincial rival Oilers tonight and could clinch with a win, but a loss would open the door for the Avs, who play Nashville at home. The two teams square off tomorrow in what could be a do-or-die showdown.

Now with all that going on in the world of hockey, you’d think that the NHL’s national broadcast partner would be pleased as punch and scrambling to get some of these great games on the air. You’d think. But, alas, NBC reached into the grab-bag of games months ago when they scheduled their Sunday afternoon games and pulled out a blockbuster match-up between the Dallas Stars and the Chicago Blackhawks. Wow!

NBC, if you are going to be the hockey network, and we all think you should, you need to show a little passion for this new sport you’ve aligned yourselves with. How about you put a call into whoever you put these calls into and put on the Montreal-Toronto game tonight. Even better, how about a double header with the Flames and Sharks on late. Seriously, you can bump that three-hour block of Let’s Make A Deal or No Deal or reruns of Law & Order for some hockey, no one will care. But hockey fans will love you and richly reward you with ratings for it.

There is a little thing called the NCAA Final Four happening on Saturday. UCLA takes on defending champion Florida in a rematch of last year’s title game, while the biggest of the big men — Greg Oden and Roy Hibbert — are set to do battle in the paint in the Ohio State-Georgetown tilt. I know, your bracket was long-ago blown out, but these are going to be some fantastic matchups, so you better tune in.

For those of you hoping to see a fight or two, the NHL is heading into the final stretch before the playoffs. Calgary plays in Vancouver on Saturday looking to hold onto their slim grasp on the final postseason spot in the West, while Nashville battles Dallas in their bid to steal the Central division away from the Red Wings. On Sunday, NBC brings us some riveting action as Detroit takes on the Columbus Blue Jackets. (Sweet Sam Hill, even Versus would have passed on that matchup.)

The playoff picture is shaping up in the NBA as well. Who would have thunk that Toronto would be leading the way in the retched Atlantic division? What Svengali could have predicted the Wizards would have a chance to top the their division? Washington and the Raptors go head-to-head tonight at the Verizon Center. But you don’t care about the East, all you want to hear about is the stinking Suns and Mavericks. Well fine, the top two teams in the West square off on Sunday in Phoenix, with the Suns needing a win if they want to catch Dallas for the top seed. They might do it, too, with Dirk Nowitzki nursing a bone spur in his ankle.

What else? Well, baseball is still in preseason action, but who cares about baseball this early in the year? The MLS is gearing up to start their season soon (you’re a fan, you just don’t know it yet), and NASCAR has short-track action from Martinsville. Oh, and someone is probably playing golf somewhere this weekend (yawn).

No matter what sporting event trips your trigger, though, I’m sure the big plan for this weekend involves plenty of this:

Pretty nifty trick, no?

(Video via Lifehacker via tonari no shibfu)

The west has some crazy competition going on and for the past 2 months or so when one team wins or a team loses they can go from 3rd to 8th. This is all due to the structure of the conference and the whole Northwestern Division.

Anyway, here’s my list.

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