oddsnark » NHL

Please Give Ryan O’Byrne A Raise

oddJoe — Tue, 12 Feb 2008 17:39:39 +0000

Times is tough, so tough in fact that it’s hard to make ends meet even if you’re a professional athlete. How else to explain Ryan O’Byrne of the Canadiens getting caught stealing $20 from a woman’s purse in Tampa the other night?

The Habs defender makes just $590,000 a year according to The Gazette, so you can see that he probably just needed some cash because he wanted to get something to eat. You can’t persecute a man who’s starvin, alone on the mean streets of Tampa far from home. If you want to blame anyone, blame Montreal owner George Gillette for not paying his players a decent, living wage.

Elisha Cuthbert Switches Teams After Sean Avery

oddJoe — Fri, 01 Feb 2008 03:47:15 +0000

It looks like everyone’s favorite puck bunny, Elisha Cuthbert, has gone lesbian in the aftermath of her breakup with Sean Avery. I’m not making it up, the British press is.

According to reports, all-Canadian beauty Ms. Cuthbert has turned to gal pal Paris Hilton for “comfort” in her time of need. The two were spotted at a party this past week “all over each other and making out.” Afterwards they left the party together and went to the Hilton suite, if you get my drift.

All I can say is when that sex tape hit the Interweb, the whole grid is coming down.

Attention Sean Avery: Alyssa Milano Is A Hockey Fan

oddJoe — Sun, 27 Jan 2008 17:12:43 +0000

Sean Avery likes him some celebrity puck-bunnies, so he might be interested to know that Alyssa Milano is all about the hockey action. She’s even got herself a blog on NHL.com (link swiped from CSTB) and has some hockey-themed merchandise in the clothing line. (There she is sporting an All-Star t-shirt.)

Considering her love of baseball led to a fling with Brad Penny a while back, it’s not so far fetched she might be interested in being a hockey WAG for a little while. The question is, though, would she be attracted to such a sensitive metrosexual as Avery?

NHL All-Star Break: I Bet You’re Thrilled

oddJoe — Sat, 26 Jan 2008 05:46:32 +0000

I bet you didn’t even know it was the All-Star break for the National Hockey League, did you? No, because you (probably) live in the U.S. of America and you don’t give two hoots about no ice skating rink hockey. But if that’s the case, I bet you are jonesing for some sports action because football is on hiatus for another week until the Super Bowl, so what better time to catch a little of Canada’s national pastime?

Now with the regular season about 5/8th of the way finished, we might ask who the league MVP is at this point. Some would say Danny Alfredsson, who leads the NHL with 67 points. Others might say it’s Alexander Ovechkin, who has 65 points and could single-handedly pull his Washington Capitals into the playoffs for the first time since 2003. Others to consider might be Robert Luongo of the Canucks with a 2.1 goals against average or Nicklas Lidstrom of Detroit with a 40 plus/minus.

These are all fine contenders but who would I pick? The same person I always nominate for MVP, the Zamboni driver.

Here’s to you, mister ice resurfacing machine operator guy!

Thrashers Skip Game, Sabres Finally Win

oddJoe — Sat, 19 Jan 2008 17:12:35 +0000

The Buffalo Sabres snapped a 10-game losing streak last night with a 10-1 victory in Atlanta. Surprisingly, even thought the Thrashers failed to take the ice (I hear the team bus was stuck in traffic somewhere) Buffalo managed to blow the shutout. At least they got the ‘W’ though. Now if only they can find a way to play against an empty net every night.

They Should Play Every Hockey Game Outdoors

oddJoe — Thu, 03 Jan 2008 06:09:10 +0000

So it turns out America does like hockey, but only if it played outdoors in a football stadium in a snowstorm.

The Winter Classic between the Pittsburgh Penguins and Buffalo Sabres drew a 2.6 rating and 5 share on NBC on New Year’s Day, the highest TV rating for a regular season game since 1996. In the stands, more that 71,000 fans braved the sleet, snow, and cold at Ralph Wilson Stadium in Buffalo to watch the Pens best the Sabres 2-1 in a shootout.

Meanwhile, NHL commissioner Gary Bettman is still drawing up expansion plans to add hockey franchises in Puerto Rico, Cancun and the Bahamas. He is also considering rule changes to get rid of that pesky ice surface so the league can stage additional outdoor hockey events during the summer months.

Yee Haw! We Got Us A Hockey Team

oddJoe — Fri, 30 Nov 2007 16:57:41 +0000

Well looky here what I done bought, one of them there ice hockey teams. Durndest thang I ever did see, but they tell me it could make a little more money than dirt farmin’. I don’t know a forecheck from a five-hole, but I am told there’s some talent here, now if I could just figure out how to get the rest of the hillbillies to buy tickets to watch this thang. Come on y’all, it’s funny to watch ‘em slide around on the ice, and sometimes they starts to fightin’. Yee haw!

Or maybe I’ll just move it Kansas City.

Eight Straight Wins For Ottawa

GibbyZee — Wed, 07 Nov 2007 05:19:59 +0000

The Senators gave the Maple Leafs a sever thrashing about the head and shoulders last night, defeating Toronto 5-1 to get their eighth straight win. Ottawa has bested an NHL record for best start through 14 games with a 13-1-0 mark.

Penguins Paste Devils 5-0

oddJoe — Tue, 06 Nov 2007 12:06:39 +0000

The Baltimore Ravens weren’t the only team getting its ass handed to it by a franchise from Pittsburgh last night; the New Jersey Devils felt some Steel Town wrath as well.

The Pittsburgh Penguins snapped a two-game skid by beating the Devils 5-0 at the Prudential Center in Newark last night. Sidney Crosby scored two goals, giving him 22 points this season (3rd in the league). Goalie Dany Sabourin had 20 saves in his first career shutout.

It was a good night to be a Pittsburgh fan.

Sean Avery Likes Him Some Jailbait

oddJoe — Sat, 03 Nov 2007 18:07:59 +0000

What is up with these Olsen twins trying to infiltrate the world of sports? First we get rumors of a Full House hook-up between Ashley Olsen and champion cyclist Lance Armstrong, but now there are stories flying around the Internet tubes about sister Mary-Kate sealing lips with Sean Avery of the Rangers.

Is this part of a campaign to revive their careers, taking the Paris Hilton route from gossip pages to reality TV show? Please tell me there isn’t a Mary-Kate/Sean Avery sex tape waiting around the corner. Noooo!

This frontal assault on the sports world by the Olsen twins has to stop.