You best grab a Molsen or something stouter before pressing that “play” button because here are the ’80s Flames singing “Red Hot.”

Oh, the humanity. Oh, the mustaches. Oh, the mullets! You know, I never thought I’d ever see anything that would make the Bears’ “Super Bowl Shuffle” look good.

Down in Tampa the Lightning lost their series in six games after getting beat 3-2 by New Jersey. Martin Brodeur came up with 32 saves while Brian Gionta proved to be the difference maker on offense scoring twice for the Devils.

Now I know that the Bolts have developed into regular playoff contenders and won the Stanley Cup back in 2004, and so the good people of Tampa now have hockey fever, but did you see the ice conditions at the St. Pete Forum? The sheet was so thin that crews had to patch holes during intermission where the concrete was showing. Seriously, if you can’t maintain a sheet of ice because it is too tropical then you shouldn’t have a hockey team, no matter what Gary Bettman and his bean counters think.

On the other hand, the Devils are in to the second round. Ho hum, wake me when it’s over.

Last night, meanwhile, the Calgary Flames were playing for their lives, but not even a rowdy home crowd could motivate them past the Red Wings one more time. The Flames played well enough to fend off Detroit for 80 minutes as they took a 1-1 tie into a second overtime, but Johan Franzen eventually found a way around Miikka Kiprusoff for the game winner.

Now I’m sad to see Calgary out of the playoffs because that means there’s only two teams left to try and defend Canada’s honor and end the 14-year sojourn of the Cup, but really the Flames could not have been a worse playoff team. Sure at home they played well, but it was like night and day seeing them away from the Saddledome. Even if the Red Mile had found a way to get past the Red Menace, Calgary would have been going down in the second round anyway.

On the other hand, Detroit is in to the second round. Ho hum, wake me when its over.

They were celebrating, however, in the capitol city as the Senators defeated Pittsburgh 3-0 to advance to the second round after five games. Dany Heatley, of course, put in what would turn out to be the game winner just a minute into the second period, while Ray Emery made 20 saves for the shutout. The Sens have never made it to the Stanley Cup finals, could this be the year?

And finally up in Alberta the Red Mile was all aglow as the Flames evened their series with Detroit after a hard-fought 3-2 win over the Red Wings. Daymond Langkow put in the game winner on a power play midway through the second period, while Miikka Kiprusoff stopped 33 of 35 shots to get the win. I hate to disagree with my colleague Gibson, but Calgary is starting to look pretty good. The series moves back to the Motor City on Saturday.

To celebrate those wins last night, how about we all enjoy an ice-cold Molsen and review what it means to be a Canadian.

Go Canada.

That’s right Calgary, I’m looking at you. The Flames are an awful mess and it’s hard to believe at this point how they even got into the competition. They’re kind of the like the Sanjaya Malakar of the NHL, you might say. Granted, the Flames are playing the Detroit Red Menace but still, even the Islanders have been able to look respectable against the Sabres.

In Game 2 of their series on Sunday, the Flames were whistled for five penalties in the first eight minutes. The first half of the opening period was one extended Detroit power play. Southern Albertans should be bowing down to Miikka Kiprusoff for his Herculean efforts to allow just two goals through that first 20 minutes.

Even though they somewhat recovered their composure, the Flames were still outskated, outmanned, and outclassed in almost ever phase of the game. It’s really surprising the final was just 3-1.

It hurts me to say it, but I’m not sure at this point which team is worse, the Calgary Flames or the Minnesota Wild. One thing is clear, though, the Flames stink, and everyone in Edmonton must be very happy right about now.

The games that I was able to catch had one trend. The winning team (except the Rangers) were owned like the girl in this basketball dunk video

Anyway, to recap

• Calgary Flames looked terrible
• Buffalo made the Islanders look like, well, Islanders.
• Devils took it to the Lightning …

I’m glad it’s Friday today so when the Vancouver Canucks / Dallas Stars go to a quadruple overtime I don’t have to get up early. Although, it’s much more likely i’ll be passed out in a chair….

Huselius is number 20 on the Calgary Flames and number one with some fans. He tied for 3rd in points on the team this year and many people consider him the most exciting player on the Flames. He’s an excellent skater and has amazing puck handling skills. However, the reason I find him very exciting is it’s not often you see a rat play hockey. I’m not trying to be mean as I think he’s a better player then myself. But look at the photographic evidence below.

TSN will be covering up to 28 games in the first round of the playoffs!   While the CBC will be covering every Canadian hockey game.     The playoff eve and the first night of playoffs many people participate in playoff pools or playoff brackets.     BBQ’s begin, trash talking begins and city mayor’s make silly wagers.   Ahhh, the playoffs!

The Canadian teams / games are

Ottawa vs Pittsburgh:  This will be a FAST and EXCITING series.   Crosby, Malkin and Staal vs Alfredson, Spezza and Heatley.  Who can score more goals?   or which Goalie will stand out?
Vancouver vs Dallas:    Goaltending match-up.    Luongo is in his first playoffs while Turco has never done good in the playoffs.   Who’ll be the hero?
Calgary vs Detroit:      Which team can grind it out four games first?   This will be a hard-hitting tough series for both teams.
Ahhhh, the playoffs.   Wait there was nothing snarky about this blog.   I know, but seriously, aren’t the playoffs great?

The chase for the Cup gets underway on Wednesday when the Penguins of Pittsburgh face off against the Ottawa Senators. The Pens, of course, have that young phenom Sidney Crosby, who led the league with 120 points, including 36 goals. The Sens, meanwhile, have a bunch of players not named Sidney Crosby, but they do have Dany Heatley and goalie Ray Emery. Still, they don’t have anyone named Crosby or Jordan Staal or Evgeni Malkin, so I’m pretty sure Ottawa is going down in the first round (sorry Canada), but this could be the best series of the whole post-season.

Also on Wednesday, the Dallas Stars get their series underway against Vancouver. Now you might be thinking you heard once that Dallas is pretty good, but that was in 1999 when they won the Cup; this Stars team is the one that sorta just gets into the playoffs and then gets booted in the first round. The Canucks, with the Sedin twins and goalie Roberto Luongo will be tough to beat this year.

You’ve also got the Minnesota Wild kicking off their series against Anaheim. This should be a pretty good series, too, since this is Minnesota’s first trip to the playoffs since the first Bush was president and they had a team called the North Stars, so those fans in Minneapolis should be plenty fired up. It might even be enough for them to steal this one away from The Team Formerly Known as The Mighty Ducks.

Lastly, the San Jose Sharks take on the Nashville Predators. The Preds look pretty good on paper, but they play in a division with Chicago, Columbus, and St. Louis, so looks can be deceiving. Still, I’m picking Music City over Silicon Valley because Sharks fans cursed themselves last year by booing the Canadian national anthem.

On to Thursday night and more Eastern Conference action, the Buffalo Sabres start their run for the Cup with a little practice time against the Islanders, while the New Jersey Devils go through the motions against Tampa Bay. The Isles have no hope of making it past the first round, but it’s nice to see them back in the hunt, I guess. The only hope for Tampa is . . . well, there really is no hope for them either.

The last series in the East is the Rangers vs. the Thrashers. The who? That’s right, the Atlanta Thrashers are not only in the playoffs but they are in as a division champion. Of course, saying Atlanta had the best team in the Southeast is like saying you’re the smartest one on the short bus. Still, the mighty NY Rangers aren’t much better and will probably get booted in the first round.

That leaves us with Calgary and Detroit. Yes, Detroit is one of the best in the league and the top seed in the West, but how can you possibly root for the Red Wings? That’s like rooting for the Yankees, yawn. Plus, they’re owned by a pizza empire, a bad pizza empire at that. No, everyone out there should be rooting on the plucky Flames to score an upset here, and they just might, though it’ll mean they have to win at least one on the road, which they haven’t been able to do often this year. But this is the playoffs and everything changes now.

So America, are you ready for some hockey?

Montreal and Toronto battle it out tonight for the eighth seed in the East with a one-point margin separating the two teams. Les Habitants have lost eight of their last 10 games on the road, while the mighty Maple Leafs are looking to match a franchise record nine straight wins at home.

But don’t forget about the New York Islanders. The Isles are just two points behind the Canadiens with two games left to play, so a loss by Montreal could open the door for the team from the suburbs. New York squares off against the awful, retched Flyers this afternoon but they’ll need to get past the division champion Devils if they want a shot at post-season glory.

Speaking of division champions, the top spot in the Northwest division is still up for grabs with Vancouver enjoying a one-point margin over the Minnesota Wild. The Canucks could clinch the title if they can beat the red-hot Sharks tonight, but San Jose is playing for their own division title, needing a win and a loss by Anaheim to best the Ducks in the Pacific. Minnesota, meanwhile, gets a break as they play the not as bad as last year but still not very good St. Louis Blues.

There’s more excitement in the West, though, as Calgary tries to fend off Colorado for the eighth seed in the playoff. Three points is the margin, but both teams have two games to play. The Flames host the provincial rival Oilers tonight and could clinch with a win, but a loss would open the door for the Avs, who play Nashville at home. The two teams square off tomorrow in what could be a do-or-die showdown.

Now with all that going on in the world of hockey, you’d think that the NHL’s national broadcast partner would be pleased as punch and scrambling to get some of these great games on the air. You’d think. But, alas, NBC reached into the grab-bag of games months ago when they scheduled their Sunday afternoon games and pulled out a blockbuster match-up between the Dallas Stars and the Chicago Blackhawks. Wow!

NBC, if you are going to be the hockey network, and we all think you should, you need to show a little passion for this new sport you’ve aligned yourselves with. How about you put a call into whoever you put these calls into and put on the Montreal-Toronto game tonight. Even better, how about a double header with the Flames and Sharks on late. Seriously, you can bump that three-hour block of Let’s Make A Deal or No Deal or reruns of Law & Order for some hockey, no one will care. But hockey fans will love you and richly reward you with ratings for it.