But who will come calling?

Still tied at the top of the podium leaderboard are the winless Rams and Dolphins. Both are coming off the bye so they should be well rested and ready to play hard. Or, well as hard as they can — which isn’t very. St. Louis has a date against the we’ve-got-our-shit-together-now Saints who are looking for their fourth straight win, while Miami hosts the suddenly streaking 4-4 Buffalo Bills. Looks like we’ve got us a tight race for the #1 pick.

But not so fast, say the 1-8 New York Jets. They have a bye this week so there’s no way for them to lose their spot on the charts, and then in two weeks they play the Pittsburgh Steelers. Mangini is totally kicking himself right now for beating Miami back in Week 3.

On the outside looking in, we have the 2-6 Atlanta Falcons, who may have shot themselves in the foot by beating San Francisco last week. Or did the 2-6 49ers take a fall? They too are still in the running and play at Seattle on Monday night.

The Cincinnati Bengals also have just two wins and a shot at the #1 pick. Chad Johnson is banged up and Chris Henry got into trouble his first day back after serving an eight-game suspension; looks like the Bungles are ready to compete.

But you still have to like the Raiders chances here. The reigning champions of the Not Worth A Damn League, Oakland impressed me last week with their loss at home to the Houston Texans. Lane Kiffin has done an outstanding job rebuilding his first year on the job and I’m sure the new head coach next year will thank him for helping stock the roster with another top draft pick.

But more important than who will get picked first is what team will that person have to play for? Which sad sack franchise is going to have to shell out millions in the hope that rookie will spur a playoff run? Here’s your loser leaderboard going into week nine of the season.

The St. Louis Rams and the Miami Dolphins continue to demonstrate their utter lack of talent to the world. In the case of the Fins, we mean that literally after they stunk up Wembley Stadium in London against the Giants last weekend. Both these teams have the bye this Sunday so their place in line to the podium is solid for the next week.

Following close behind are the New York Jets and the Atlanta Falcons. The 1-7 Jets face the Redskins this week, and after having the score run up on them by New England I’m pretty sure Joe Gibbs & Co. will show no mercy on Sunday. The Falcons at 1-6 are coming off the bye and host San Francisco in a game that is blacked out in the Atlanta market. This might an interesting chess match, though, because the 49ers have just two wins and are holding out hope for that sweet first draft pick.

Minnesota and Cincinnati are also at 2-5 going into this week’s games, with the Vikes drawing the Chargers at home (which was nearly blacked out this weekend) and the Bengals traveling to Buffalo. The smart money says Minnesota has the best shot at keeping their spot in the sweepstakes, but don’t underestimate Cincinnati here because the Bills have won two in a row.

My money, though, is still on Oakland to get to the head of the line before anyone else. The Raiders benched Dante Culpepper this week and are going into the game against Houston with Josh McCown. If that isn’t raising the white flag I don’t know what is.

The Miami Dolphins and the St. Louis Rams are both winless and leading the way, but the nod here has to go to the Fins. They just placed quarterback Trent Green on IR and will have to go with Cleo Lemon the rest of the season. They play the undefeated Patriots today and then they travel to London to play the Giants next week. (And isn’t the league thrilled to have the 0-6 Dolphins representin’ in first overseas game?) The biggest threat to Miami getting the #1 pick might be the Jets, who are also in the hunt: When the teams play in Week 13, I wouldn’t put it past New York to throw the game and blemish the Fins record with a win.

The Rams, on the other hand, travel to Seattle today and host the Browns next week, so they too could still be winless at the bye week. But in the second half of the season, St. Louis plays New Orleans, which may or may not have its act together, and they play Atlanta in Week 13. If the Rams aren’t careful they could be picking fourth or fifth in the draft.

Speaking of the Jets and Falcons, both are right in the hunt with just a single win each. The J-E-T-S Jets travel to Cincinnati today where they’re sure to lose and have a pretty tough schedule after that with Pittsburgh, Dallas, and New England all looming after the bye. Miami is a winnable game, but as I’ve already noted, Eric Mangini may want to go to the mat to help his team’s chances for next year.

The Dirty Birds of Atlanta are in New Orleans today where I expect they will get blown out. After the bye week, Atlanta’s schedule includes two games against Tampa and a road trip to Carolina, not to mention a home stand against the Colts. The Falcons could really use a good quarterback next year so they better not screw this up by beating someone like San Francisco.

Also with just a single win are the Bills, Benglas and Rams, but at 1-4 it’s still too early for these teams to throw in the towel. Buffalo looked like a team playing for pride against Dallas so they could still win a few games, and Cincinnati has too much talent to go winless the rest of the year. New Orleans has looked inept enough to go the distance but in the NFC even a 1-4 start doesn’t mean you’re out of the playoff hunt, so they still have something to play for.

There are a bunch of two-win teams with an outside shot at getting the #1 pick, including the Raiders who earned the first pick in the last college draft. (And just look at JaMarcus Russel sitting on the bench and counting his money. Raider Nation must be thrilled.) Could Oakland do it again? You also have like the chances of the 49ers with Trent Dilfer at the helm, though Alex Smith seems to be getting healthy which might screw up everythjing for San Fran.

But among those two-loss teams, you really have to like the chances of the Denver Broncos. They’ve lost three straight and host the Steelers tonight, then they have Green Bay on Monday Night Football. By the time the Broncos get to some teams they have a chance to beat — Detroit, Kansas City, and Oakland — they might be too demoralized to care.