Perfection Denied

Somewhere Mercury Morris is dancing a jig because the New York Giants managed to put an end to the New England Patriots perfect season with a 17-14 upset in the Super Bowl. Looks like racing turtles strapped to rockets is a pretty good way to predict championship football games.

(Awesome Tecmo Bowl graphic stolen from Joystiq)

Turtles On Rockets Say Giants Will Beat Patriots

Just a few more days until the Super Bowl and all the experts have made their picks for which team will win on Sunday. And they will tell us those picks again tomorrow. And then on gameday they will repeat those picks over and over during FOX’s 18-hour pre-game show. Blah, blah, blah.
When it comes […]

Grey Ruegamer Will Rip Your Balls Out With His Teeth

No, seriously, he will.
Castrating a lamb with your teeth is a pretty simple procedure, really. Grey Ruegamer knows. “You grab the forelegs and pin them to the ground, and then you grab the back legs and throw them on their back,” Ruegamer said. And when the, uh, target area is exposed, “away you go. It’s […]

Lord I Love Playoff Football: NFC Championship Edition

Freezing temperatures. Lambeau Field. A championship title on the line. Sounds like the making of a great movie about Vince Lombardi, but the tale told last night in Green Bay didn’t have the feel-good ending the Packer fans huddled for warmth wanted to see.
In a 23-20 overtime loss, Brett Favre threw two interceptions, including a […]

NFL Predictions: Sean Salisbury vs. A Plant

Football fans are on the edge of their seats because this is conference championship weekend. Sunday will decide which two teams go home and which two will advance to Super Bowl XLII. To get us ready with a little in-depth analysis, we present a point-counterpoint debate between ESPN analyst Sean Salisbury and a potted plant. […]

Lord I Love Playoff Football: Divisional Round Sunday Edition

The only thing better than watching playoff football games is watching playoff football games that end with upsets, and what a bonus when you get two in the same day.
No one gave much of a chance to the San Diego Chargers on the road against the defending Super Bowl champion Colts, but two tipped balls […]

Michael Strahan Is Brilliant

Veteran defensive end Michael Strahan is my new favorite player of this year’s NFL post-season. He put a whole new twist on the Tony Romo-Jessica Simpson storyline yesterday when he told reporters that, yeah, he’d be interested in dating the former Ms. Nick Lachey. From the Toronto Star:
“You guys love to say, `Oh, he […]

Lord I Love The NFL Playoffs: Sunday Wildcard Edition

Three cheers for Eli. Manning the Lesser finally got over the hump with his first post-season victory today, beating the Buccaneers on the road 24-14. Lil’ Eli played a good game throwing for two touchdowns and no interceptions, but let’s give credit also to his receivers who actually caught some passes, his running backs and […]

The Perfect Game Of Chicken

All season long the battle has waged between Big Cable and the NFL over carriage of the NFL Network. The debate has been fought in the boardrooms, in the court of public opinion and even in the halls of our state and federal legislatures. Neither side has budged from their positions and the protracted blackout […]

Eli Manning Is Not Safe To Watch

Okay, maybe we’re a little late to this whole “2 Girls 1 Cup” business, but it’s pretty fascinating watching the reaction people have to seeing this disgusting video. Why would anyone want to watch it and why then would you want to show yourself retching while watching it?
Of course, we watched most of the game […]