Detroit Wheels Martz Out Of Town

Another losing season and another coaching change for the Detroit Lions. Surprise, surprise. This time around, it’s offensive coordinator Mike Martz who takes the fall, because it was totally like his fault that the Lions went 1-7 down the stretch to finish 7-9.
It has been seven long seasons in the Motor City since Matt Millen […]

Matt Millen Is Feasting On The Flesh Of Virgins And Laughing His Ass Off

Clearly the best off-season move by any team was the pact with the Devil that Matt Millen obviously made. The Lions are 6-2, are you kidding me? The put 44 points on the board in a pasting of Denver (now officially the not worth a shit Broncos). Millen’s team is just a game behind Brett […]

At The Half: Detroit 13, Chicago 0

Don’t worry Bears fans, Lovie Smith is just trying to set the stage for another game-saving comeback by Brian Griese.

Canada’s Pretty Cool

Former Michigan State wide receiver Charles Rogers, perhaps the posterboy for Matt Millen’s ineptitude at identifying talent in the draft, is headed to Canada to play football. And according to a stoner friend of mine, that’s pretty cool.
If you’ll remember, Rodgers was the second player selected in the 2003 Draft by the Lions. He’s […]

Top 10 things Calvin Johnson will not like about Detroit

It’s Detroit
Matt Millen
Did we mention it’s Detroit
William Clay Ford is crazier and more senile than Al Davis
Matt M-M-M-Millen
Johnson was in high school he last time the Lions had a winning season
Matty Matt Matt Millen
He’ll be playing in Detroit
My quarterback is who?
We can’t say it enough: Matt Millen

Millen May Be a Big Fat Loser But Not a Quitter

Detroit Lions fans can breathe a huge sigh of relief, as general manager Matt Millen is vowing that he’ll never quit, despite a run of ineptitude unequaled in the NFL.
“I’ll never quit,” Millen said in an interview with a small group of reporters, including The Detroit News. “I can’t do that. I don’t even consider […]

NFL Preview: Detroit Lions

(To get us all ready for a new season of football, oddsnark is previewing all 32 NFL teams with the help of some good friends and experts. Here to preview the Detroit Lions is Dan Akroyd.)

In 1983 I made a pretty funny but ultimately bad motion picture called Doctor Detroit. (I swear to God we […]

Matt Millen May Indeed Be the Dumbest Biped on Earth

Just when you think Matt Millen can’t get any dumber, wham, there it is.
Ernie Sims? No, seriously, you drafted a dude named Ernie with the #9 pick, when Leinart was still available? A dude named Ernie that’s known more for the fact that he had 274 concussions while still in college than for any […]

Mmmmmmmm…

As reported earlier by oddJoe, it looks like Rod Marinelli is poised to be named the next head coach of the Detroit Lions.
Lions president Matt Millen had the following to say:
“We’ve got a proud “M” tradition in Detroit, starting with myself, Matt Millen, and carried on nobly by coaches Marty Mornhinweg and Steve Mariucci.”
“Of all […]

We Hear Marinelli Drives A Chevy, But Don’t Tell William Clay

ESPN, that bastion of sports journalism (looking at you, Tony “Stat Boy” Reali), is reporting that the Detroit Lions is set hire Rod Marinelli as their next head coach. Marinelli is the esteemed defensive line coach of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers who has been kept under a blanket, sealed inside a glass case, and locked […]