I mean just because Vick is spending the next 23 months in federal prison for running a dog fighting operation and can’t be on the field competing for the team that paid him all those millions, that doesn’t mean he has to give that money back. Once they hand over the check, it is gone, baby, gone. Or in the words of NFL Players Association general counsel Richard Berthelsen, “It’s an enforcement of something that we felt we negotiated in the 2006 extension of the collective bargaining agreement.”

See this is why we need to have unions, to protect people who like to gamble on dog fighting and who torture and kill dogs that don’t win their fights from being abused by The Man. Thank goodness the NFLPA worked hard for that “sentenced to federal prison for dog fighting” exemption in the CBA.

The pit bulls were rescued from Vick’s property Virginia and sent to a facility in Utah called Best Friends Dogtown, an animal sanctuary that works to resocialize abused animals.

The Best Friends animal society is calling the pack of animals Vicktory Dogs, and you can read about their progress here. You can even sponsor one of the dogs to help get them back to good health and to find a new home.

With the NFL close to putting a difficult 2007 season behind it by putting on the biggest show of the year, I’m sure Roger Goodell was just hoping some mention of Mike Vick would surface this week.

According to published Internet reports — and if it’s published on the Internet it must be true, right? — the Atlanta Falcons owner is seriously pursuing Pete Carroll from USC to fill the team’s vacant head coaching position. That’s right, just months after Bobby Petrino blew up the franchise by jumping ship midstream, Blank is chasing another highly-touted college coach to take over his moribund pro team.

They say the surest symptom of addiction is that an addict continues to engage in their addictive activity despite the continued negative consequences. College coaches, unless their name is Jimmy Johnson or Barry Switzer, by and large are doomed to fail in the NFL. Can someone please organize an intervention here?

Oh, but it’ll be different this time because Carroll already has experience coach in the NFL. Yes, let’s take a look at that sterling track record: One underwhelming season with the NY Jets and three semi-successful years with the Patriots, a squad largely built by Bill Parcells that had just been to the Super Bowl.

Why would Carroll even want this job? Resurrecting the Falcons is going to be a long, hard process and not for the faint of heart. It won’t be much fun next year when Atlanta finishes with only three or four wins and everyone is on your case for not getting the job done. There’s only one college coach, in fact, that I can think of that might have the stomach for it and he’s already taken a job at SMU.

So I beg you, Arthur Blank, do not pull the trigger on this hire. Look instead for a deserving assisant coach out there, a dependable, stand-up guy who will stick around through thick and thin to rebuilt your franchise to respectability. Someone like, I dunno, MIKE SINGLETARY!

The new administration in Miami isn’t beholden to Cleo Lemon — or anyone else, for that matter — but I would guess Bill Parcells is looking more at a running back or maybe someone on defense to start his Dolphins rebuilding campaign. And with Marc Bulger and Gus Ferotte still on the roster, quarterback isn’t really a need for the St. Louis Rams. (What they lacked this season was a shaman or a healer to keep guys on the field.)

The Jets probably should be looking for a solution at quarterback, considering the oft injured Chad Pennington is close to being done and Kellen Clemens is a doubtful candidate for QB of the future. New York, though, never takes the player they should so I’m guessing they’ll pass on Ryan and draft an offensive lineman.

Oakland drafted their $31 million man last year and Kansas City says they’re sticking by Brodie Croyle (good luck with that), which is good news for the team that needs, needs, needs a quarterback: the Falcons.

Atlanta’s woes are many and deep, but whoever they find to coach the team (subliminal message: Mike Singletary) is going to need someone other than Joey Harrington or Chris Redman to start the reclamation effort. Ryan would be a good fit because he’s fairly mobile and can take a fair amount of punishment, and that offensive line isn’t getting better any time soon.

(Note to Arthur Blank: A personal check is fine. I figure you’re good for it.)

But who will come calling?

Still tied at the top of the podium leaderboard are the winless Rams and Dolphins. Both are coming off the bye so they should be well rested and ready to play hard. Or, well as hard as they can — which isn’t very. St. Louis has a date against the we’ve-got-our-shit-together-now Saints who are looking for their fourth straight win, while Miami hosts the suddenly streaking 4-4 Buffalo Bills. Looks like we’ve got us a tight race for the #1 pick.

But not so fast, say the 1-8 New York Jets. They have a bye this week so there’s no way for them to lose their spot on the charts, and then in two weeks they play the Pittsburgh Steelers. Mangini is totally kicking himself right now for beating Miami back in Week 3.

On the outside looking in, we have the 2-6 Atlanta Falcons, who may have shot themselves in the foot by beating San Francisco last week. Or did the 2-6 49ers take a fall? They too are still in the running and play at Seattle on Monday night.

The Cincinnati Bengals also have just two wins and a shot at the #1 pick. Chad Johnson is banged up and Chris Henry got into trouble his first day back after serving an eight-game suspension; looks like the Bungles are ready to compete.

But you still have to like the Raiders chances here. The reigning champions of the Not Worth A Damn League, Oakland impressed me last week with their loss at home to the Houston Texans. Lane Kiffin has done an outstanding job rebuilding his first year on the job and I’m sure the new head coach next year will thank him for helping stock the roster with another top draft pick.

But more important than who will get picked first is what team will that person have to play for? Which sad sack franchise is going to have to shell out millions in the hope that rookie will spur a playoff run? Here’s your loser leaderboard going into week nine of the season.

The St. Louis Rams and the Miami Dolphins continue to demonstrate their utter lack of talent to the world. In the case of the Fins, we mean that literally after they stunk up Wembley Stadium in London against the Giants last weekend. Both these teams have the bye this Sunday so their place in line to the podium is solid for the next week.

Following close behind are the New York Jets and the Atlanta Falcons. The 1-7 Jets face the Redskins this week, and after having the score run up on them by New England I’m pretty sure Joe Gibbs & Co. will show no mercy on Sunday. The Falcons at 1-6 are coming off the bye and host San Francisco in a game that is blacked out in the Atlanta market. This might an interesting chess match, though, because the 49ers have just two wins and are holding out hope for that sweet first draft pick.

Minnesota and Cincinnati are also at 2-5 going into this week’s games, with the Vikes drawing the Chargers at home (which was nearly blacked out this weekend) and the Bengals traveling to Buffalo. The smart money says Minnesota has the best shot at keeping their spot in the sweepstakes, but don’t underestimate Cincinnati here because the Bills have won two in a row.

My money, though, is still on Oakland to get to the head of the line before anyone else. The Raiders benched Dante Culpepper this week and are going into the game against Houston with Josh McCown. If that isn’t raising the white flag I don’t know what is.

The Miami Dolphins and the St. Louis Rams are both winless and leading the way, but the nod here has to go to the Fins. They just placed quarterback Trent Green on IR and will have to go with Cleo Lemon the rest of the season. They play the undefeated Patriots today and then they travel to London to play the Giants next week. (And isn’t the league thrilled to have the 0-6 Dolphins representin’ in first overseas game?) The biggest threat to Miami getting the #1 pick might be the Jets, who are also in the hunt: When the teams play in Week 13, I wouldn’t put it past New York to throw the game and blemish the Fins record with a win.

The Rams, on the other hand, travel to Seattle today and host the Browns next week, so they too could still be winless at the bye week. But in the second half of the season, St. Louis plays New Orleans, which may or may not have its act together, and they play Atlanta in Week 13. If the Rams aren’t careful they could be picking fourth or fifth in the draft.

Speaking of the Jets and Falcons, both are right in the hunt with just a single win each. The J-E-T-S Jets travel to Cincinnati today where they’re sure to lose and have a pretty tough schedule after that with Pittsburgh, Dallas, and New England all looming after the bye. Miami is a winnable game, but as I’ve already noted, Eric Mangini may want to go to the mat to help his team’s chances for next year.

The Dirty Birds of Atlanta are in New Orleans today where I expect they will get blown out. After the bye week, Atlanta’s schedule includes two games against Tampa and a road trip to Carolina, not to mention a home stand against the Colts. The Falcons could really use a good quarterback next year so they better not screw this up by beating someone like San Francisco.

Also with just a single win are the Bills, Benglas and Rams, but at 1-4 it’s still too early for these teams to throw in the towel. Buffalo looked like a team playing for pride against Dallas so they could still win a few games, and Cincinnati has too much talent to go winless the rest of the year. New Orleans has looked inept enough to go the distance but in the NFC even a 1-4 start doesn’t mean you’re out of the playoff hunt, so they still have something to play for.

There are a bunch of two-win teams with an outside shot at getting the #1 pick, including the Raiders who earned the first pick in the last college draft. (And just look at JaMarcus Russel sitting on the bench and counting his money. Raider Nation must be thrilled.) Could Oakland do it again? You also have like the chances of the 49ers with Trent Dilfer at the helm, though Alex Smith seems to be getting healthy which might screw up everythjing for San Fran.

But among those two-loss teams, you really have to like the chances of the Denver Broncos. They’ve lost three straight and host the Steelers tonight, then they have Green Bay on Monday Night Football. By the time the Broncos get to some teams they have a chance to beat — Detroit, Kansas City, and Oakland — they might be too demoralized to care.

The thing that deserves comment is a statement from R.L. White, the president of the Atlanta chapter of the NAACP, who came out in support of Ookie today. White asked that the NFL and commissioner Goodell give Ron Mexico a second chance and not ban him from the game.

Okay, fair enough. But then White went on to say, according to the CNN article, “he didn’t understand the uproar over dogfighting, when hunting deer and other animals is perfectly acceptable.”

I’ll let that sink in a little.

Now I’ll link to this clip (I don’t want those bastards from Viacom to sue my ass) of Jon Stewart from last night’s episode of The Daily Show — “He killed dogs with his bare hands!”

Tony, Toni, Tone are you down with the program? Let’s just talk about players not suspended for dogfighting and games that matter to the playoff hunt. No? Jaws? Tirico?

Peter King, you must be tired of talking about this stuff endlessly. How about we take a vow not to mention Mike Vick’s name again, okay? I mean, it distracts from all the whining about Starbucks coffee (or lack thereof) and bitching about some guy yawning too loudly up there in first class. Are you with me?

Bob Costas? Jerome Bettis? Come on, I’ll take anybody here, even you Cris Collinsworth. No?

Joe Buck, you’d rather be talking some baseball I know it. How about that? Let’s talk balls and strikes and steals against left handed pitchers. No? Damn it!

Phil Simms, now I know there’s something you’d rather be talking about: Your boy, Phil’s Son, am I right?

Oh, Hell’s bells. I guess if I want to avoid hearing about dogfighting and drowning dogs and rape stands I’m just gonna have to watch Project Runway and read Go Fug Yourself for the next four months. Shit!

Leave it to infamous YouTube poster BradyFan83, then, to come up with the definitive slam on Mike Vick. Set to the tune of “Cat’s in the Cradle,” here’s “Dog’s in the Kennel.”