Hasselbeck Does United Way Commercial Like No Other Quarerback Does United Way Commercials

Hasselbeck drops back and it’s during the commercial break, so that’s strange. I’m wondering, who the hell has paid Matt Hasselbeck to be on a national TV commercial? The likeliest suspects would be Nike, Gatorade/Powerade, or The Hairclub for Men, I’m guessing.
There’s a close-up of the shoe, but there’s no swoosh or any other […]

Your Tim-McGraw-Blows halftime Post

Seahawks 35, Eagles 0
Never thought I’d live to see the day. Seahawks come to Philadelphia, it’s colder than the seat on Madden’s exercycle, driving snow, and the Eagles look like they wish the game was in Seattle (and the Seahawks still played in the Kingdome).
Train wreck.

Mike McMahon Es No Bueno

Philadelphia, I do not think Mike McMahon is the answer. Don’t you still have one of the Detmer boys stashed away in a ball bag somewhere?
I’ve been reduced to doing Google image searches for other Mike McMahons out there that might have a better shot at successfully playing QB in the NFL.

Look at this doofus. […]

Anyone Seen the Steelers’ Playbook?

Nowhere to be found. Weird. It’s as if it was crammed up someone’s ass during the game…

SB Halftime Prediction

Tim McGraw makes a special guest appearance with the Rolling Stones to do a medley of “I Know It’s Only Rock and Roll (But I Like It, I Love It, I Want Some More Of It).”

Big, Dumb Lumbering Thing Made Of Steel II

Big Ben needs to do more chicken dancing. Chicken dancing, I say!

Tricky Like Some Big, Dumb Lumbering Thing Made of Steel

Let’s see, you’ve somehow hung close to an offensively potent, undefeated Colts team despite doing next to nothing on offense yourself. You’re down 16-7 and are kicking off to start the second half.
And you decide to try for the onside kick? Huh.
Best case scenario: your struggling offense has to drive 60 yards or […]

Tim McGraw and MNF Halftime: Spiking Blood Pressure Medication Sales Worldwide

Okay, seriously. Is there a single fucking person in the entire fucking world that looks forward to Tim McGraw’s MNF skits? Not someone who can tolerate it, grudgingly, but someone that actually enjoys it? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?
I nearly pulled a hamstring last week, sprinting from the room, trying desperately to get out of earshot […]

Super Bowl Halftime Entertainer Announcement

Holy Hell!! Why didn’t anyone tell me they were going to announce the Super Bowl 40 Halftime Entertainer at halftime of this week’s Monday Night game? Sweet Jebus, I’d have had a party if only I’d have known!
Can you imagine the possibilities? I’m all atingle. I mean in 2004 there were 40-year old titties, and […]

Tonight On ABC: Chicken Dancing With Peyton Manning

Capitalizing on the success of this summer’s hit show, Dancing With The Stars, ABC is happy to present a special episode featuring star NFL quarterback Peyton Manning. The Colts signal caller has entertained millions with arm-flappin’, crazy-legs, hopping-up-and-down chicken dance and tonight he’ll teach all his famous moves to TV personality John Madden. Famous football […]