The French bulldog named Diva was named Best of Opposite Sex at Madison Square Garden, signifying the pooch at the best female in the breed. A male dog was named best in breed.

Hearst, now Patty Hearst Shaw, is of course the heiress and granddaughter of William Randolph Hearst who was kidnapped and brainwashed in 1974 by the Simbionese Liberation Army and later took part in some of the bank heists. She was photographed with an assault rifle holding up a bank and later arrested, serving nearly two years for armed robbery.

So from gun-toting revolutionary to genteel champion dog breeder? Only in America.

It’s not like we were actually there, but apparently Cold Pizza’s Dana Jacobson got a little too friendly with a bottle of Belvedere at a recent roast of Mike Greenberg and Mike Golic in Atlantic City.

After chugging directly from the vodka bottle on numerous occasions, she had the following to say:

“Fuck Greenberg” “Fuck Notre Dame,” “Fuck Touchdown Jesus,” and “Fuck Jesus.”

ESPN followed up with a statement said to have been received from Jacobson, after she was suspended by the network for a week:

“I am sorry. My remarks about Notre Dame were foolish and insensitive. I respect all religions and did not mean anything derogatory by my poorly chosen words. I also deeply regret the embarrassment I’ve caused ESPN and Mike and Mike. My actions at the roast were inappropriate and in no way represent who I am. I won’t make excuses for my behavior, but I do hope I can be forgiven for such a poor lack of judgment.”

So when she said “Fuck Jesus” she really meant “I respect you, Jesus.”

(I was about to make fun of that but realized that sounds eerily like every woman I dated until 2004 so I’ll just be shutting the hell up now.)

Commodore Casino is a newer entrant into the world of online casinos, and they offer all of the standard fare that action junkies come to expect in their online casino of choice, including casino  games online such as blackjack, baccarat, video poker, and slots.

They also offer more table and lottery games, as well as their virtual horse racing game 3D Gold Cup Horse Racing, where you not only can bet on the ponies but watch the race play out in front of you in 3D. While screaming at your horse to get off its lazy ass doesn’t, in fact, seem to result in him running any faster, it at least lets you blow off a little steam.

As far as the software itself, it’s quick enough and fairly clean and intuitive, with no glaring weaknesses or jaw-dropping perks. Again, pretty standard fare as far as online casinos go and you should expect a pretty standard casino experience (minus the hot cocktail waitresses in skimpy outfits bringing you free drinks).

They don’t allow US or Canadian customers to wager for real money, but do serve virtually every other country out there, and offer all the popular deposit options such as Neteller, Moneybookers, EcoCard, bank wire, and Visa and Mastercard. They claim to have support staff on hand that cover all the major languages and their main site is translated into 12 different languages, for maximum appeal to the international crowd.

Okay, so what is going on that we have contests now to see who is the fastest texter? Is this destined to become some kind of Olympic sport soon? Maybe Mark Cuban and his billionaire buddies should look into starting a text messaging league rather than a football league to compete with the NFL. ESPN could start ESPNtxt to cover all the texting action.

Someone wake me when the football season starts.

Anyway, in case anyone was wondering this site will be back in full operation as soon as all our writers get out of rehab an/or prison (one night with Lindsay Lohan and look what happens) and the new football season gets underway. The whole cast of oddsnark malcontents will be back at it very soon with all the wry observations, witty commentary and clever wordplay that has made this site one of the top several thousand sports blogs on the Internet tubes. And don’t worry, there will be plenty of gratuitous semi-nudity and bathroom humor as well.

So sit tight, enjoy what’s left of the summer, and check back for our previews of the NFL and college football season. And stay away from Lohan — far, far away; she’s bad news, man.

The Dragons will play the Hokkaido Nippon Ham Fighters in the Japan Series starting October 21. The Fighters won their first Pacific League pennant in 25 years with a 1-0 win over the Softbank Fukuoka Hawks yesterday, or today, or whenever Friday was in Japan.

Now, from what I can gather, the object of the game is to not laugh at the poor students trying their best to read in English, otherwise you get the cane. Hilarious, isn’t it?

And now you are six minutes and 44 seconds closer to the weekend.