oddsnark | Peter

Itinerant Kicker Picks Up and Moves Again

By Peter ⋅ December 21, 2005 ⋅ Post a comment

Jose Cortez is working the grift again, it seems. After conning opportunities and missing field goals in previous years with San Francisco and Minnesota, and apparently, for a cup of coffee with the Redskins as well, Cortez has been on 3 different NFL rosters this year.
He started the season with Dallas and lasted until a […]

One Bowl Down, 27 — Holy Shit! 27?!? — to Go

By Peter ⋅ December 21, 2005 ⋅ Post a comment

Stop crying, Brett. Your Southern Miss Golden Eagles made up for a horrible season by winning the first bowl game of the year. USM knocked off a tougher-than-expected Arkansas State program 31-19. Sorry, Mr. 3 Toes, but that means the Indians covered the spread.
You can make up for it with tomorrow’s GMAC Bowl, when […]

FedEx Leans Back

By Peter ⋅ December 19, 2005 ⋅ Post a comment

Is there a funnier moment on television right now than watching Fat Joe Montana running around an airport in a 20-year-old 49ers uniform that makes him look more like Sebastian Janikowski than the greatest quarterback of all time?
That whole line of FedEx commercials that ask us not to use football metaphors in daily life […]

The Provincial Report: Special John Spencer Memorial Edition

By Peter ⋅ December 18, 2005 ⋅ Post a comment

Because out here in the provinces, in addition to liking our states, our necks, and our meat to be red, we like our entertainment to be televised. And so, we honor the passing of one of recent television’s greats, John Spencer. Herewith, NFL-playing Spencers and Johns:
Johnnie Morton of the 49ers had 1 catch, but it […]

No Word Yet on Whether or Not Folsom Field to be Painted Gold

By Peter ⋅ December 15, 2005 ⋅ Post a comment

Word is that Colorado is prepared to name Boise State’s Dan Hawkins its next head coach. In addition to coaching small, unspectacular, shouldn’t-be-on-a-Division-I-field-even-if-it-is-blue athletes to play crazy-style offenses and win games they shouldn’t, Hawkins is also known for his interest in Eastern philosophy. Well, as known as you can get coaching at a school best […]

The Provincial Report: Special Cost Your Team the Game Edition

By Peter ⋅ December 12, 2005 ⋅ Post a comment

Because out here in the Provinces, when we blow a game, we like to really blow a game.
Oh, Derrick Johnson. A Defensive Holding call on 4th down. In the endzone. When you were up by 4. To cost the Chiefs the game. Against the Cowgirls. That’s just awful.
And, Shaun Rogers? Why you gotta treat Frodo […]

Pacers Surprised that Crazy Person Says Something Crazy

By Peter ⋅ December 11, 2005 ⋅ Post a comment

Crazy-ass Ron Artest thinks it’d be best if the Indaiana Pacers traded him, preferably to his hometown New York Knicks. Artest talked to the Indianapolis Star on Saturday and said a lot of crazy things, many of them directly contradicting the crazy things he had said only moments before.
Team President and father figure Donnie Walsh […]

Seems Like I’ve Read that It’s the Most Popular Sport in the World

By Peter ⋅ December 9, 2005 ⋅ Post a comment

The World Cup, which gave birth to that great Ricky Martin song back in 1998, is just like 6 or 7 months away. And, even better than that is that today is the day that FIFA holds the draw to determine the Cup�s schedule, groupings, and brackets, and whatnot. Just imagine, all the excitement of […]

Vince Carter’s Mom: Here’s a Statue of My Baby; Teacher: Stop the Vinsanity

By Peter ⋅ December 9, 2005 ⋅ Post a comment

Mainland High School in Daytona Beach, Florida is going to erect a “near lifesize” statue of New Jersey Net Vince Carter in front of a new gymnasium to be built with funds donated by Carter. The statue is a gift of Carter’s Mom.
Some school board members have complained that erecting the statue sends the wrong […]

Dontrelle & Miguel, All the Rest Ran Like Hell

By Peter ⋅ December 7, 2005 ⋅ Post a comment

At least this time the owners waited two whole years after the World Series victory to blow up the team.
The Florida Marlins have apparently decided to draw the line just before you get to Dontrelle Willis and Miguel Cabrera. Sure, you can have Josh Beckett, Paul Lo Duca, Juan Pierre, Carlos Delgado, the franchise’s dignity, […]

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