NFL

Nine Things To Do While Not Watching The Pro Bowl

Tomorrow is the last official game of the NFL season, your last opportunity to watch professional football players on the field of competition. Unfortunately it is the Pro Bowl and who the hell wants to watch that? You won’t see anyone like Tom Brady, Randy Moss, or Brett Favre, just a bunch of alternates jogging through 60 minutes of football. So what should you do tomorrow instead of watching the game?

1. Say “hello” to your significant other — It’s been a long season of football and we’re betting you’ve been pretty much a stranger these last 20 or so Sundays, so maybe tomorrow would be a good time to reconnect. Maybe wake up early and fix breakfast, suggest you take a trip to a museum or just spend some quiet quality time with him or her on the couch by the fire.
2. Fix that damn door in the garage — Weekend fix-it projects probably took a backseat during the football season, so you probably have a bunch of things you can do around the house. When was the last time you changed the furnace filters?
3. Search the Internet for pictures of Debbie Clemens — Brian McNamee not only claims to have injected pitcher Roger Clemens with steroids but now he says he gave HGH to The Rocket’s wife, Debbie. She does look pretty fit. Maybe you can find pictres of her on the Interweb.
4. Learn to play guitar — No we’re not talking about Guitar Hero, a real guitar. You kn ow you’ve been saying it for years now, so go out and get yourself a cheap guitar and sit down to practice. There’s a lot of time between now and training camp, you might even learn a song or two.
5. Get ready for the Iditarod — You know deep down you’re excited for the start of the Last Great Race, so get yourself ready by reading our expanding preview coverage of the Iditarod Trail Sled Dog Race.
6. Get your damn taxes done — It’s that time of year again, and you don’t want to wait until the last minute like last year, so just do already, okay?
7. Take in a cock fight — Hey, if it’s good enough for Pedro Martinez and Juan Marichal, maybe you’d enjoy it too. (On second thought, maybe this is bad idea.)
8. Get your draft board together — Sure, you’re just a schmo who can barely manage your household budget let alone a professional football team, but at this stage of the game you have just as much chance of being right as that guy on ESPN with an oil-slick in his hair.
9. Sleep — Hey, sleeping’s good too.

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