MLB • Tampa Bay Rays • The Bad

A Little Ray Of Sunshine?

It must be great to be in brand marketing. All you have to do is come up with new names for things that suck so that people won’t think that they suck anymore. Instead of Shit Sandwich you decide to call it Bread ‘n Stuff and people will love it.

Such is the case with the Tampa Bay Devil Rays, one of the most God awful expansion franchises in all of sports. Last night they unveiled their new name and team colors: It’s now the Tampa Bay Rays, thank you very much. Yes, the Rays, as in sunlight, as in Sunshine State, as in what the hell does it matter what you call it, the team still hasn’t had a winning season in almost a decade. Shit Sandwich.

First there was the Mighty Ducks switching names to just the Ducks (okay, maybe that wasn’t such a bad move) and then the Anaheim Angels became the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim. When will the St. Louis Rams change their name to the New England Patriots of Missouri? If you want fans to stop thinking your team sucks ass, then make your team not suck ass anymore.

Anyway, about 7,000 people turned out in Tampa to celebrate the Rays new name and colors. That’s probably about the same number of fans that will buy tickets next year. Good luck with that new name.

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