NBA • New Orleans Hornets

Dirty Ref League Vows Help For New Orleans

Just hours before the Hornets beat Sacramento 104-90 to mark the start of their first full season back in New Orleans after the devastation of Hurricane Katrina, NBA commissioner David Stern committed his league to helping the struggling city to rebuild.

“This is going to be a season-long, league-wide effort that is going to involve the entire NBA family,” he told an audience at a local gymnasium.

*Stern went on to say:

“But you people gotta start buying tickets to these games here. I don’t have to tell you George Shinn is an utter and complete bastard and if some of these games don’t sell out, he’s sure as shit going to move the Hornets to Oklahoma City. Unless of course that other douchebag Clay Bennett beats him to it. Don’t underestimate that sack of crap, I mean court ruling or no, he’ll just move that damn team in the middle of the night if he has to.

“So what I’m tell you people is, what I’m asking here, is just buy some damn Hornets tickets. Please. It’s for the children.”

*Some quotes may not be 100% accurate.

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