MNF • NFL

Monday Night Football: You Suck!

Unacceptable, unbearable, and unwatchable are three of the words that come to mind when I see a game on Monday Night Football. Seriously, I never thought ESPN’s flagship football game could get worse than the Sunday night broadcasts with Theismann, McGuire, and Patrick, but the Worldwide Leader has somehow managed the impossible and created a new standard in inferiority.

I have given this new MNF crew five weeks to prove themselves, and they have — they have proven themselves to be the worst on television today. Ron Jaworski is nearly as insufferable as Theismann ever was, Tony Kornheiser’s schtick is about as inspired as Tony Romo’s decision making was tonight, and Mike Tirico is without a doubt the worst play-by-play man ever in the history of televised sport. With this three-headed monster at the helm, the point becomes debatable whether it would be better to watch Two and a Half Men and catch the highlights of the game later.

I would just like to have some programming guru explain to me how this show is supposed to make watching a football game more enjoyable. Tonight was a classic example: Buffalo was in the midst of winning a huge upset over the Cowboys, but the three morons in the booth kept talking about Niagara Falls, Peace Bridge, and the financial stability of the Bills franchise. Who cares, there is an exciting game going on. And certainly we are all praying for Kevin Everett, and certainly his tragic story is worth hearing, but certainly there is a better time to tell it than when the teams are running plays on the field.

Please someone tell them all to just shut the hell up!

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