NFL • Oakland Raiders

Meet The $31 Million Man

Just spend, baby!

Raiders Nation awoke to some good news today: #1 draft pick JaMarcus Russell has agreed to a six-year contract worth about $60 million, including $31 million in guaranteed money. There you go, problems solved, book your tickets to Arizona in February.

Seriously though, $31 million in guaranteed salary? I’m often boggled by the size of many player contracts in pro sports, but at least with someone like Tom Brady or Peyton Manning or Derek Jeeter you know what you’re getting for all those millions. (Most of the time: Remember that Dante Cuplepper once signed a 10-year, $100 million deal with the Vikings and now look where he is.) But $31 million for a kid who hasn’t played a down of pro football? Just crazy, baby.

But now JaMarcus has his deal, what can he possibly spend all that cash on? Well, just about anything, really. Heck, he could cover the entire payroll of the Florida Marlins, though I’d suggest buying the offensive line from the Patriots. For an idea of what $31 million can get you:

7,750,000 trips across the Bay Bridge (no one wants to spend all their time in Oakland)
2,281,089 copies of Football for Dummies
1,513,672 copies of Better to Reign in Hell (to get a good idea about all the fans in the Black hole who will be cheering/booing on Sundays)
516,753 copies of Madden NFL 2008 (which gives JaMarcus an 82 overall rating)
313,131 Fathead posters of himself
115,242 years of Sunday Ticket subsciptions
77,694 iPhones
619 Cadillac Escalades
383 Rainmaker nights in Las Vegas

Seriously, that a lot of dough.

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