Buy Herbal Vaporizers Online! www.vaporizergiant.com

MLB • SF Giants • The Scofflaws

I’m rich, bitch!

By GibbyZee ⋅ August 9, 2007 ⋅ Post a comment

Matt Murphy is a very lucky young man. The New York Mets fan who just happened to be at AT&T Park the other night managed to emerge from under the scrum in the stands with Barry Bonds’ no. 756 in his hands. Now most people would immediately think about selling the historic ball or maybe giving it to Cooperstown, but Murphy says he may just hang onto the ball.

This brings up an interesting question: What do you do with such an important artifact? You wouldn’t want to just put it on the nightstand next to you bed or toss it in the closet. So here at oddsnark central we put our heads together and came up with a short list, things that Matt Murphy could do with Bonds’ home run ball.

    • Sacrifice the ball at the alter of Hank Aaron, the one true MLB home run king
      Put the ball next a picture of Michael Strahan sacking Brett Favre in the Museum of Dubious Sport records
      Journey to Mordor and toss the ball into Mount Doom to be destroyed
      Grind it into a fine powder and snort it for “magic powers”
      Put the ball in retirement until Alex Rodriguez breaks the record, then take it on tour as “The Ball Formerly Known as no. 756″
      Build a shrine to Barry Bonds and put it next to mint condition, never-been-opened vials of The Clear and The Cream
      Fire a photon torpedo down an exhaust shaft which will set off a chain reaction and destroy the ball
      Encase the ball in a time capsule; at least the robot civilization 500 years in the future will appreciate the achievement of a genetically altered human
      Send the ball back in time to warn a young Barry Bonds about the dangers of performance enhancing drugs, so the slugger would never have bulked up late in his career and would never have come close to breaking Hank Aaron’s record, meaning the ball would never have been hit out of the ballpark on Aug. 7, 2007 and would then never been sent back in time, thus collapsing the universe in an endless series of paradoxes
      Donate it to the Hooters Waitress Hall of Fame

    • Related Posts

    • No Related Post

    Discussion

    Comments are disallowed for this post.

    Comments are closed.

    Featured Author

      oddJoe

      One of the original oddsnark crew, and co-keeper of the site. oddJoe is so old school, he's still not sure that the forward pass should have been made legal.

    Special Offers

    Categories