Anaheim Ducks • Buffalo Sabres • Detroit Red Wings • NHL • NY Rangers • New Jersey Devils • Ottawa Senators • San Jose Sharks • Vancouver Canucks

Bartender, bring us another round of hockey

For the third year in a row, the Dallas Stars have made an early exit from the playoffs. Vancouver finally ended their epic journey through the quarterfinals by beating the Stars 4-1 on home ice last night, with Trevor Linden getting the game winner on a power play seven minutes into the third period. Poor Mike Modano now has a whole off-season to spend with Willa Ford; don’t you just feel bad for him?

So with the first round of the playoffs over, we finally get to the good stuff. And you know what else is good stuff? Beer. And equating things to beer is even better stuff, so put on your beer goggles and take a peek at what to expect in the semifinals of the Stanley Cup race.

In the Eastern Conference we have the Sabres matched with the Rangers and Ottawa taking on the Devils. Both these series pit different flavored teams against one another, with lightning offense taking on stout defense. Kind of like a Black and Tan. And just like in a well-poured Black and Tan, I expect the heavy, Guinness-like defense of New York and New Jersey to sink to the bottom against the scoring power of Buffalo and the Sens. It’ll take some time though, so stock that fridge for plenty of overtime games and a big fat Game 7 at the end.

Out in the West the Red Wings will attempt to make it to the conference finals for the first time since 2002 when they take on the Sharks. Now the team from Detroit is kind of like Budweiser in that it’s so big and dominant that it’s hard to think anyone can beat it, yet it doesn’t taste very good. San Jose, on the other hand, is more of an acquired taste, like a fruity microbrew with boysenberries. I don’t understand boysenberry beer or why anyone would drink it, but I really don’t like Bud, so my money is on the Sharks to steal this one in six.

The other Western match-up pits Vancouver against the Ducks of Anaheim. If Detroit is the Budweiser of the NHL, the Canucks are more like the Molsen of the league: Big and well-known, but so often overlooked (in the US, that is) that it might as well be a specialty brew. The Ducks, meanwhile, are like one of those trendy brands that brewers try to sell to people who don’t really like beer, like Michelob Ultra or Zima. Yeah, I’ll take Molsen over Zima any time.

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