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China Bowl Cancelled; Communism Safe For Two Years

The Communist Chinese will probably be sleeping a little easier tonight knowing their country and way of life are both safe for a little while longer. China averted disaster when the NFL decided to call off its planned invasion of the country.

Town Tattler and noted coffee addict and Starbucks shill Peter King is reporting today the league will soon announce the cancellation of the exhibition game between the New England Patriots and the Seattle Seahawks that was planned for this Fall. According to Mr. Coffee Nerd, the NFL wants to devote all of its attention on the its other international conquest, a regular season game between the Giants and Dolphins planned for 2008. Apparently Roger Goodell has been studying his history and realized the danger of trying to fight a war on two fronts simultaneously. (As sad as it is, yes, a professional sports league is demonstrating better military strategy than our own government.)

But could this be true? Is the mighty NFL admitting it may have made a mistake in announcing this ambitious plan just last year? Could Goodell be suggesting there are limits to what the NFL can do and how far and how fast it can expand? (Someone alert Gary Bettman . . . please.) I think the last time the league backed down from a challenge, Pete Rozell gave in and agreed to merge with the AFL, and we know how that deal worked out. Now the original NFL, residing in the NFC, is just a motley bunch of wannabes and alsorans that can’t tie their shoelaces while the media darlings of the AFL/AFC bask in the glory of Super Bowl titles.

So I’m a little disappointed in the league backing down from its commitment to help fight world communism. Battling against liberal socialism in Europe is fine and all but not nearly as important as stamping out communism and transforming the world’s largest economy into a capitalist society. Because you know once those Chi-Coms get a taste of NFL action they’ll want more. They’ll want their own professional football league with their own selfish, multi-millionaire players and greedier billionaire owners. You think communism can survive in that environment? Not likely mate.

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