Iditarod

Since you asked . . . the Iditarod is on

In this week’s edition of “Since you asked,” the experts here at oddsnark will attempt to answer some reader questions about the Iditarod dog sled race which got off to its 35th running this past weekend.

Q: Is the Iditarod really “The Last Great Race”?
A: Well, let’s see. The teams race across 1,150 miles of open Alaskan wilderness during maybe the worst part of the winter, temperatures can plummet to -20 degrees with wind chill reaching -60 in some places, it takes more than week to finish the event, and did we mention the fact that it’s goddamn cold in Alaska right now? I’d say it’s the Last Freakin’ Great Race.

Q: Gosh golly, how do they ever stay warm?
A: They wear their hat and mittens. Didn’t you ever listen to your mother?

Q: I think it’s terrible the way they treat those poor dogs, making them pull a sled all that way through the cold. Shouldn’t someone pass a law against it?
A: Shut your pie hole, you liberal commie pinko.

Q: I keep coming to oddsnark looking to get updates on this Iditarod you keep talking about, but you never post anything about it. Where can I get some real news on the Last Great Race?
A: Hey, back off there. We have lives, you know. If you’re so hot and bothered to find out who’s leading and where the pack is, maybe you should check out Iditarod.com.

Q: I saw the movie Snow Dogs once. That Cuba Gooding, Jr., is one heck of a good actor.
A: Uh . . . I don’t think that’s a question . . .

Q: I had a dog named Mr. Waggles. He was my bestest friend, but daddy ran over him with the tractor.
A: Hey, sorry to hear that, but really this is for questions about the Iditarod . . .

Q: Do you think Mr. Waggles went to doggie heaven?
A: Okay, that’s an interesting question, but it’s not really the point of this exercise. Can we get some better reader questions here?

Q: What’s the purse for the Iditarod?
A: Alright, that’s better. This year the first 30 teams to cross the finish line in Nome will split $795,000.

Q: This Iditarod thing sounds like fun, how can I get in?
A: Forget about it. You’re not man enough (or woman enough) to mush a sled 1,150 feet across your back yard let alone 1,150 miles across the wild Alaskan countryside.

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