NFL • The Hired

Cowher Out in Pittsburgh; Cowher’s Jaw to Take Over Head Coaching Duties

The Pittsburgh Steelers announced yesterday that head coach Bill Cowher was resigning after 15 seasons at the helm.

According to Cowher: “I’m not burned out. There comes a time in your life — I’m healthy and happy, and I’ve been fortunate — you’ve got to prioritize things. My family has made a lot of sacrifices for me, and I’m looking forward to being there for them. It’s the right time.”

The Steelers immediately announced his replacement, which will be Cowher’s Jaw. Team president Art Rooney II welcomed Cowher’s Jaw to the team and said that players and management both were confident that a little “jutting and menacing” were all the team needed to get over the hump and return to their winning ways.

Cowher’s Jaw’s comments to the press were brief, consising solely of: “Grrrrrr!!!! Mmmmrraaawwrrr!!!! Grrrrrr!!!!”

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