If You Thought Last Night Was Scary, Get A Load Of This Week’s College Football
I trust everyone had a frightfully good time last night celebrating Halloween. Everyone here at Snark HQ is sporting a monster of a hangover, that’s for sure. So it seems a fitting time to bring up a pretty scary subject: The college football regular season is almost over. That’s right, in just a few weeks, our Saturdays (and Fridays and Thursdays) will be devoid of collegiate gridiron action, at least until bowl season starts in December. Scarier still, how will this whole BCS mess play out this year? It’s giving me goose pimples just thinking about it.
#1 Ohio State at Illinois (3.30pm) – Hum dee do, na na na, how long until we play Michigan?
Ball State at #2 Michigan (12pm) – Do dee da, noo nee noo, how long until we play Ohio State?
#3 West Virginia at #5 Louisville (7.30pm, Thursday) – We’re number three, we’re number three! Oh snap, we have to play these guys?
Oklahoma State at #4 Texas (7pm) – Just a few more practices before that big A&M game, then Mack Brown can start lobbying for the #2 spot in the poll.
Arkansas State at #6 Auburn (2.30pm) – The Indians are coming off a loss to Florida Atlantic if that tells you anything about the stiff competition that awaits the Tigers this week.
#7 Florida at Vanderbilt (12.30pm) – The last time the Commodores beat the Gators, Michael Dukakis was a chump, Mike Tyson was a champ, and Wayne Gretzky was a King.
#13 LSU at #8 Tennessee (3.30pm) – The Tigers are ready to play the spoiler and ruin the Vols steady rise in the polls.
#9 USC at Stanford (7pm) – Stanford has lost 10 games in row going back to last year; maybe the Trojans have a chance to win this one.
UCLA at #10 California (8pm) – The Golden Bears just have to survive a couple practice games before their big match up with USC to decide the Pac-10 title.
North Carolina at #11 Notre Dame (2.30pm) – No luck needed this week: The Tar Heels are on a five-game slide.
#12 Arkansas at South Carolina (7.45pm) – The Gamecocks are no Louisiana-Monroe, but then they’re no USC either.
Fresno State at #14 Boise State (8pm, Wednesday) – Someone should tell Boise State that no one is going to take them seriously no matter how many games they win.
#16 Boston College at #22 Wake Forest (7pm) – I hope BC had a good time stomping all over Buffalo last week because I’m pretty sure it won’t be that easy this Saturday.
Penn State at #17 Wisconsin (12pm) – If PJ Hill can get healthy for this one, the Badgers are ready to kick Joe Pa’s Nittany right back to Happy Valley.
#18 Oklahoma at #21 Texas A&M (8pm) – The Sooner Schooner took care of Mizzou last week, but the Tigers didn’t have a 12th man.
Maryland at #19 Clemson (12pm) – Clemson had better watch out, the Terrapins are on a roll. I’m serious.
#20 Georgia Tech at North Carolina State (7pm) – Three straight losses has the Wolfpack howling for a win. Too bad they they play the Yellow Jackets this week.
#23 Virginia Tech at Miami (FL) (8pm) – Psst, Donna Shalala, I hear Dennis Green might be looking for work soon.
Washington at #24 Oregon (3.30pm) – Things just don’t get better for Ty Willingham.
Arizona at #25 Washington State (5pm) – The Cougars have three losses and somehow made it into the Top 25; did someone owe Bill Doba a favor or something?
