The Provincial Report Says Hooray For Beavers
The good people in Corvallis, Oregon, prefer their quantum chemists to be award winning, their ultimate fighters to be Hall of Famers, and their Playboy cover models [NSFW] to be body painted. They also prefer their football to be of the collegiate giant killer variety, such as the Oregon State – USC match up this past weekend in which the Beavers upended the mighty Trojans 33-31.
Not only did the big upset bust open this year’s race for the national championship, it also brought an end to USC’s winning streaks of 38 consecutive regular season games, 27 consecutive Pac-10 games, and 18 road games. But then being giant killers is nothing totally new for Oregon State: The Beavers defeated OJ Simpson and his top-ranked USC squad in 1967.
So in honor of Oregon State’s huge win over the weekend, the Provincial Report is more than happy to spotlight all the accomplishments of Beaver alumni in the NFL.
Linebacker Nick Barnett recorded two tackles and three assists, and knocked down two passes for Green Bay as the Packers defeated the Arizona Cardinals. Fittingly on this weekend, the Oregon State alumnus also got a sack against former USC golden boy and new daddy Matt Leinart.
I’m guessing running back Steven Jackson was lobbying the NFL this past week to deny Shawne Merriman’s suspension appeal, but he still rushed for 84 yards and a touchdown and caught three passes for 55 more yards for the Rams against the San Diego Steroid Users.
In Cincinnati’s loss to the Falcons, Chad Johnson aka Ocho Cinco had seis receptions for setenta y ocho yards and uno touchdown with a danza pequeña at the end. Teammate T.J. Houshmandzadeh had six catches for 70 yards and no Spanish nicknames.
Second year quarterback Derek Anderson did a great job holding the clipboard while Charlie Frye led the Browns to a win against the New York Jets, though the replay officials should have checked the taped to see if he was actually pushed in-bounds. Meanwhile, defensive end Dwan Edwards was the best backup end he could be for the Ravens as they skinned puppies alive and drowned poor little kittens defeated the Saints at the Superdome.
Taking it easy during their respective bye weeks was Bills linebacker Keith Ellison and Lions defensive end Bill Swancutt III .
