NFL

T.O. is a juvenile roof rat

Todd Haley is having a terrible month. The coordinator of the Dallas Cowboys’ uncoordinated passing game endured a tongue-lashing from the Wide Receiver Whose Name Must Not Be Spoken during an October 8 loss to Philadelphia then became embroiled in some he-said/she-said hair-pulling with the WRWNMNBS through the media the following week. Now Haley is suing McDonald’s on behalf of his wife and au pair (ooh la la), who claim they found a six-inch-long juvenile roof rat in a McSalad. Family spokesman Scott Casterline says the plaintiffs just want “closure”, apparently in the form of the $1.7 million they are suing the fast food chain for. However, it’s obvious who’s at fault here, and he wears #81.

Todd Haley should achieve some closure of his own in January after the Cowboys miss the playoffs again, carpetbagging head coach Bill Parcells skips town, the WRWNMNBS finds another desperate team to poison, and the quarterback-challenged Cowboys dismantle their coaching staff and start over.

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