NCAA Football • The Bad

Time’s Up For Larry Coker

The voices calling for Larry Coker’s head at Miami are only going to get louder after this weekend when a sideline-clearing brawl broke out between The U and players from FIU. Eight Miami players were suspended in the aftermath, including safety Anthony Reddick who was seen swinging his helmet in the scrum. This incident comes on the heels of Miami’s losses to Florida State and Louisville, which led to the ‘Canes being dropped from the Top 25 for the first time in seven years. In the interest of helping out poor lil’ Miami, we’ve compiled a list of possible candidates to replace Mr. Coker at the end of the season.

The Rock - experience coaching juvenile delinquents, defeated the evil king Memnon, and knows how to use the BFG.

Diddy (aka P. Diddy, aka Puffy, aka Sean Combs) - highly regarded record producer, has developed hip-hop bands using no-name kids. Would be excellent role model for the Seventh Floor Crew.

Tony D’Amato - coached a bunch of criminal thugs on the Miami Sharks under the scrutinizing watch of team-owner Christina Pagniacci.

Warden Hazen - Strong on discipline, loves his inmate football.

Lynndie England - tough as nails disciplinarian, enjoys electroshock, leashes, and using humiliation to get those under her control to do her bidding.

Vic Vega - no coaching experience but he is the craziest son of a bitch you’ll ever hope to meet.

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