NHL

Hockey Starts, Sports Fans Shocked

A nation of unsuspecting sports fans awoke this morning to find hockey scores posted all over their favorite Web site sites. It was all the apparent work of the National Hockey League, which unexpectedly started its new season last night.

“I was checking the latest injury reports for my fantasy football picks, and there was a headline about the ‘Canes’ and the ‘Sabres’ or something,” said Howard Freemont, a sales associate at Home Depot. “It kinda freaked me out.”

Doug Perlman, EVP of Media for the NHL, was quick to hold a press conference this morning to try and calm the country’s sports fans. “The NHL would like to assure all sports fans in the US that there is no reason for alarm,” he said, “This was just the first night of the 2006-07 season.”

According to Perlman, the NHL puts on several hockey games a night beginning in October and running through April. At that point, the league stages a playoff tournament in which the winner is awarded a trophy they call the Stanley Cup.

“Opening night got off to a great start last night, with the Buffalo Sabres defeating the defending Stanley Cup champion Carolina Hurricanes 3-2 in a shootout,” he told reporters. “Also, the Ottawa Senators bested the Toronto Maple Leafs 4-1, while the Dallas Stars won 3-2 in overtime over the Colorado Avalanche.”

Despite the league’s assurances, many fans were still skeptical. “I thought that hockey stuff only happened every other year,” said elementary school teacher Sarah Winkler. “I mean they should really warn people before pulling a stunt like that.”

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