NCAA Hoops • The Scofflaws

You Can’t Stop This Footloose Tree From Dancing

The NCAA has drawn a line in the sand against dancing trees. The collegiate sports governing body fined Stanford University and suspended its mascot, The Stanford Tree, for an incident that occurred at this year’s women’s basketball tournament. According to a committee report, The Tree was dancing in a “no dance zone” at Denver’s Pepsi Center during the second round of the tournament. Said committee chair Reverend Shaw Moore, “Besides the liquor and the drugs which always seem to accompany such an event the thing that distresses me even more is the spiritual corruption that can be involved. These dances and this kind of music can be destructive, and, I’m afraid you’re going to find most of the people in our community are gonna agree with me on this.” But don’t worry; we hear that Ren McCormack is organizing a mascot dance outside the city limits where everyone can party down.

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