Cycling

Floyd Landis Not Of This Earth?

After test results showed that Floyd Landis had an unusually high ratio of testosterone to epitestosterone in his urine, the American cyclist claimed in a press conference that he had unusually high levels of testosterone in his body. Well, it seems now that not only is Landis a real manly man, he’s an unnaturally manly man. New test results have revealed that the Tour de France champion’s urine sample, the now infamous Sample A, contained synthetic testosterone that is not produced naturally in the human body. The only logical conclusion here, of course, is that Landis is some kind of alien being whose physiology is not yet understood by modern science. So unless the International Cycling Union thought to write into its rules that only human beings can win the Tour de France, everybody should just back off and leave the man, er, whatever be.

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