Detroit Lions • NFL

NFL Preview: Detroit Lions

(To get us all ready for a new season of football, oddsnark is previewing all 32 NFL teams with the help of some good friends and experts. Here to preview the Detroit Lions is Dan Akroyd.)

In 1983 I made a pretty funny but ultimately bad motion picture called Doctor Detroit. (I swear to God we were not trying to rip off Night Shift.) In 1964 William Clay Ford bought the Detroit Lions, which has turned into a pretty funny but ultimately bad football team. (He swears to God they are not trying to rip off the Arizona Cardinals.) My point here is that one small mistake should not ruin your reputation for life. I mean, despite Doctor Detroit, you all still remember me as Dan Akroyd from The Blues Brothers, Saturday Night Live, and 1941 The Coneheads Spies Like Us Dragnet Ghostbusters, right? What I’m trying to say here is don’t blame Mr. Ford for the way the Lions have turned out. He’s just a fuddy old man at this point who probably still watches video tape of the Lions comeback against San Francisco in the 1957 playoffs.

You can, however, blame Matt Millen. You can blame Millen for the ineffectual franchise Detroit has become like you blame your parents for the fact that you cannot deal with emotional attachements. You can blacklist Millen like Cubs fans villify Steve Bartman. You can blame Millen like I blame my agent for putting me in such films as 1941, The Coneheads, Spies Like Us, and Dragnet. Go ahead and whip him like a dead horse tied to a post.

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