NFL

NFL Preview: New York Giants

(To get us all ready for a new season of football, oddsnark is previewing all 32 NFL teams with the help of some good friends and experts. Here to preview the New York Giants is 60 Minutes commentator Andy Rooney.)

Have you ever noticed that football is becoming more popular these days? In other countries they call soccer “football.” Here in America we call football, “football.” They call baseball America’s Pastime, but I never understood why “pastime” has only one “t” in it.

The New York Giants are a football team. New York used to have a baseball team called the Giants, too. They used to call the football team the New York Football Giants to tell the football team apart from the baseball team. The New York Football Giants used to play football in a place called the Polo Grounds. I used to watch the Football Giants play football at the Polo Grounds. My wife used to make me a tunafish sandwich wrapped in tinfoil and I would sit in the bleachers at the Polo Grounds and watch the football game and eat my tunafish sandwich.

They don’t allow you to bring food to the games anymore. Nowadays they serve chopped Hamburg sandwiches and frozen confections at the football stadium. That doesn’t sound like food that’s good to eat at a football game. The stadium the Giants play in nowadays doesn’t have bleachers either, only plastic seats. I liked it better when I could sit in the bleachers and eat my tunafish sandwich.

Nowadays the Giants have a quarterback named Eli. That doesn’t sound like a good name for a quarterback. I like my quarterback to be named Earl or Charlie or Y.A. Those are good names for a quarterback. The Giants also have a running back named Tiki. That sounds like the place we used to stay when I was in the Army stationed in the Pacific. The Giants used to have coach who was in the Army. Nowadays they have a coach who has a Master’s Degree. I think it’s better to have a coach who was in the Army coaching your football team.

Have you ever noticed that aspirin bottles have childproof caps nowadays? I guess they don’t want children to open the caps. I suppose that’s good if you have children around but I never cared much for children. They always used to say children should be seen and not heard, much less rooting around in a medicine cabinet. Nowadays kids listen to music called “hip-hop.” The Big Bopper used to move his hips and hop around, but back then they called his type of music “rock and roll.”

The Giants used to have the word “Giants” on their helmets. That way you could tell the name of the team that was playing. Now their helmets have “NY” on them. I guess that stands for New York, but the Giants don’t play football in New York anymore. I guess “NY” could stand for lots of other things. “Not Yet” maybe.

The New York Football Giants used to have “NY” on their helmets when they played football in New York. Nowadays you have to drive a car or take a bus through a tunnel or over a bridge to watch the Giants play football in New Jersey, which is across the river from New York. I liked it better when I could take the subway train to watch the New York Football Giants play football at the Polo Grounds in New York.

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© 2006 oddsnark.