NCAA Football

And This Bird You Cannot Change

The Carolina Hurricanes won game one of the Stanley Cup Finals. The Duke men’s lacrosse team was given permission to resume doing whatever it is they do. NASCAR races, our sources say, continue to be staged every weekend. In general, it probably feels good to be a Son of the South. Unless you’re the fourth-string quarterback of the Tennessee Volunteers.

From the Chattanooga Times Free Press:

“During four years at Tennessee, walk-on quarterback Jim Bob Cooter has received notoriety for his Southern-stereotype name.

Now he’s made news for a no-fun reason.

Cooter, 21, was arrested early Saturday morning and charged with driving under the influence. Coach Phillip Fulmer indefinitely suspended him Monday. Fulmer said the suspension will include the Sept. 2 home opener against California…

According to the arrest report, UT police saw Cooter disregard a stop sign at White Avenue and 16th Street near campus around 3:25 a.m. Saturday. His 2002 Ford Expedition then crossed the median and continued on the wrong side of the road. An officer stopped the SUV and noticed a “strong odor” of alcohol and bloodshot eyes on Cooter and a female passenger.

After three attempts at a field sobriety test, which Cooter “could not perform properly,” he was arrested and taken to the campus police station, where he registered a 0.19 on a breathalyzer test. The state’s legal limit for intoxication is 0.08.”

Cletus the Slack-Jawed Yokel was unavailable for comment. No word on whether Barney Fife or Rosco P. Coltrane was the arresting officer.

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