NCAA Football

two old cusses

It’s easy to take potshots at a couple of septuagenarians who have reached the pinnacle of long, successful careers, especially at a time when such accomplishments are the subject of well-deserved acknowledgement and celebration. But I’m not above that.

It’s fitting that Joe Paterno and Bobby Bowden enter the College Football Hall of Fame together. They are the two winningest Division I-A coaches in history. They both ply their estimable trades at colleges better known for athletics than academics. (Penn State at least has decent hotel management, groundskeeping, and animal husbandry departments. Florida State teaches what, girls to go wild?). They’ve both hung on for far too long; in Paterno’s case, it has been to the detriment of his program, a fluke BCS season in 2005 notwithstanding. And they both benefitted from a change made to HoF voting rules to accomodate them before they collapse on the sidelines: A coach no longer has to retire to be eligible for induction, only to be older than 75.

The main difference is that Bowden’s a so-called straight shooter, an Alabama boy who spits out platitudes about barnyard animals misinterpreted by some to be homespun grandfatherly wisdom, much like William Jennings Bryan or our current president. He also has no druthers about putting criminals on the field (the talented ones, at least), which has helped him achieve the auspicious apex we applaud him for today.

Paterno, on the other hand, is a paranoid, hidebound megalomaniac who really, really bleeds to win (did you see him race halfway across the gridiron to castigate a Big Ten referee a few years back?) and has lingered well beyond his usefulness in order to garner personal accolades. Having forgone actually coaching the team years ago, he now paces the sideline like a caged old cat, screaming in the facemasks of 20 year-olds, and rarely offering them public praise. Despite his reputation and what he gives lip service to, it isn’t about “the kids” at all.

Congratulations to both on jobs well done!

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