Olympics

USA Sweeps Away The Brits

The Bemidji Beast, Pete Fenson, made an absolutely clutch draw in the final end to put Team USA over Great Britain 8-6, winning America’s first medal ever in Olympic curling. I doubt that the Swedes up in Minnesota will be rioting in the streets (it’s way too cold), but I bet the beer is flowing free at Dave’s Pizza, Fenson’s pizza joint back home. Way to go, boys. Now that curling fever will surely sweep the nation, Hollywood will probably want to dramatize the amazing underdog story of the US curling team, a la Miracle. So here are oddsnark’s casting choices to play Fenson and his teammates.

To play team skip Fenson, I’m thinking of someone like Tom Cavanagh, late of the canceled CBS show “Love Monkey” and formerly star of NBC’s “Ed.” There’s a little bit of resemblance, but mostly I like the choice because Cavanagh is Canadian, so you woudn’t have to explain the game to him.

John Shuster, the American lead who was brilliant with his line calls, could be played by Sean Astin, who has previous experience with sports related movies having been in Rudy.

Team second, Joe Polo, was dead on with his shots throughout the tournament and always seemed to come into matches with fight in his eye. “Fear Factor” host Joe Rogan would be a good pick.

Which brings us to the US third, Shawn Rojeski. Brooding, emotional, inconsistent with his draws at times, he requires a darker figure to bring the drama with a touch of melencholy. Jason Schwartzman (Rushmore, I Heart Huckabees) would be spot on.

Of course, this film might need a little bit of an insurance policy to draw the right demographic, so I would suggest casting as Jamie and Cassie Johnson of the US women’s team the Olsen twins.

You’re welcome, Hollywood. I’ll be expecting the check in the mail.

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© 2006 oddsnark.