Detroit Lions • NFL • The Hired

We Hear Marinelli Drives A Chevy, But Don’t Tell William Clay

ESPN, that bastion of sports journalism (looking at you, Tony “Stat Boy” Reali), is reporting that the Detroit Lions is set hire Rod Marinelli as their next head coach. Marinelli is the esteemed defensive line coach of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers who has been kept under a blanket, sealed inside a glass case, and locked inside a vault by Bucs ownership for the past decade, lest his secret juju escape into the ether. At last free from his bondage, poor Marinelli will be taking on the monumental task of turning around a franchise that hasn’t played in the post-season since 1999 and hasn’t won a playoff game since 1991. The challenge becomes even more Sisyphean when you remember that he’ll be kneecapped at every step by team president and general manager Matt Millen. Good luck, Rod, you’ll need it.

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