2005-06 College Bowls • NHL

Snarks On Ice: The NHL Roundup (Rose Bowl Edition)

Panthers 3, Islanders 4, OT
In the penalty box: Reggie Bush, for that boneheaded lateral attempt in the second quarter that gave Texas the ball and resulting in a Longhorn field goal. Pete Carroll should have come over and ripped those ‘619′ stickers off your face after that one, Mr. Heisman Trophy winner.

Senators 3, Capitals 1
In the penalty box: Matt Leinart, for not fully grasping the idea that your coach wanted to draw UT offsides and was trying to call time out when you attempted a quarterback sneak on fourth and one from 17-yard line. Or were you too busy thinking about that girl you met in NYC?

Thrashers 3, Hurricanes 4
In the penalty box: Pete Carroll for calling a screen pass while your team is holding a five-point lead and driving to run out the clock with under three minutes to play. Leinart’s throw falls to Brandon Hancock’s feet, clock stops, LanDale White (not Mr. Heisman Trophy winner) fails to pick up the first, Texas gets the ball, you lose, game over.

Predators 4, Blues 3
In the penalty box: Keith Jackson and Dan Fouts, for the scramjet-decibel level of the histrionics and hyperbole surrounding this game, these teams, the players, and the coaches. You’d have thought they never saw a football game before.

Canucks 1, Stars 3
In the penalty box: ABC Sports. Your BCS coverage had it all this year: AJ Hawk nailing the Irish (and their sisters), the Mountaineers and the Bulldogs combining for 73 points in the Defenseless Bowl, septuagenarians consternated by kickers for three overtimes, and now THE GREATEST FOOTBALL GAME THAT EVER WAS OR EVER WILL BE PLAYED. Too bad you walked away from a contract extension this past summer, though I’m sure FOX will enjoy trying to outdo your over-the-top coverage next season.

Seriously, though, congratulations to the University of Texas football team and all its fans for their national championship victory. Well played. Now, can we get on with hockey already? (After the Super Bowl, I mean.)

On Tap Tonight
Senators (28-7-3) at Bruins (14-19-6) 7:00 PM EST
Lightning (21-17-3) at Sabres (26-12-2) 7:00 PM EST
Flyers (25-8-6) at Rangers (22-12-6) 7:00 PM EST
Canadiens (18-14-6) at Devils (17-18-5) 7:30 PM EST
Blues (10-23-5) at Red Wings (26-10-3) 7:30 PM EST
Avalanche (21-17-3) at Wild (19-17-4) 8:00 PM EST
Canucks (21-14-5) at Blackhawks (13-22-4) 8:30 PM EST
Coyotes (20-18-2) at Kings (26-14-2) 10:30 PM EST
Blue Jackets (12-26-1) at Sharks (16-16-5) 10:30 PM EST

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