Chicago Bears • NFL • The Bad

Kyle Orton and Satan, Sitting in a Tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G

So apparently Kyle Orton has sold his soul to the devil for a bottle of Jack and at least 9 Bears wins in 2005. Seriously. ‘Cause I have no other explanation for how the hell the Bears keep winning with Senor Orton at the helm, playing “quarterback”.

Here are his stats for today’s game, a 17-9 Bears victory over the Packers:

Kyle Orton, Bears “QB”:

6-17 passing, 68 yards
Sacked 3 times
1 interception, 0 TDs
-2 yards rushing, with 1 fumble

I’ve never understood exactly how you calculate it, but isn’t that like a negative QB rating? If it isn’t, it should be.

Of course, his Packers counterpart Brett Favre had a possible explanation that doesn’t involve Beelzebub.

“They’re just good,” said Favre after the game.

No, Brett, sorry. I’m sticking with the whole Satan/soul selling theory.

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