Sorry I Whacked Your Knee, Nancy Kerrigan
Hoping to realize his dream of becoming a Navy SEAL (and put his baton wielding skills to good use), Shane Stant’s request to have his criminal record expunged was refused by a judge on Thursday.
Stant was convicted of assault in 1994 for whacking Olympic skater Nancy Kerrigan on the knee with a police baton in a creative attempt to secure rival Tonya Harding the U.S. figure skating title and a spot on the 1994 Winter Olympics team.
Stant attacked Kerrigan as she prepared to compete in the U.S. championships in Detroit. Kerrigan recovered from the injury and won the silver medal in the Olympics.
Stant, Harding’s ex-husband Jeff Gillooly and two other men went to prison, with Harding only serving probation.
This summer Stant’s lawyer filed court papers asking for his conviction to be set aside, claiming he had lived a law-abiding life since leaving prison and needed the assault conviction expunged from his record in order to achieve his dream of joining the Navy SEALs. 
The judge, however, denied his request for the wacky reason that, in the jurisdiction in question, the law doesn’t allow for an assault conviction to be expunged.
