MLB • Misc

Memo to oddsnark Staff: Remember, We Like Elephants

In light of the news today that former Texas Rangers managing partner George Bush had to be convinced by Tony Blair and others not to bomb Arab satellite station Al-Jazeera for being a mouthpiece of anti-American and terroristic sentiments, all oddsnark writers are encouraged to keep the following in mind:

1) Please refrain from using “terrorize” in phrases such as “Dwight Freeney continues to terrorize opposing quarterbacks.”

Remember, it’s easy to see the word “terrorize” and get confused, and the last thing we need are smart bombs screaming in through the window.

Good safe substitutions for the t-word include “antagonize”, “whup” and, our personal favorite, “bedevil.”

2) With the exception of oddJoe, we’re all God-fearing, red-blooded Americans. Don’t be shy about expressing your unique Americaness at any and all opportunity, including decals, t-shirts, and truck accessories.

Nothing says “I love our troops and support the war in Iraq!” more than slapping an American flag bumper sticker on your truck, along with some TruckNutz.

Remember, the only way the terrorists bad dudes can win is if we stop buying crap and cut back on oil consumption.

3) Condi in 2008! Condi in 2008!

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