oddsnark | How to Rub Racin’ Phoenix the Wrong Way

Nascar • The Scofflaws

How to Rub Racin’ Phoenix the Wrong Way

By oddSeth ⋅ November 14, 2005 ⋅ Post a comment

Kurt Busch was pulled over and cited this weekend for reckless driving. No flags or pace cars were involved — just the Maricopa County sheriff’s department. Seems that Kurt was driving erratically and speeding. When the deputy smelled alcohol on his breath, Kurt refused a field sobriety test and became argumentative and uncooperative. He was taken to the temporary sheriff’s station set up at the track where a blood-alcohol testing machine malfunctioned.

Huh.

I knew Kurt Busch was a sleazy guy, but I had no idea his breath would be rancid enough to send a breathalizer machine running for its mommy. They let him go with a reckless driving citation. At least that’s what they’re willing to tell the media. Even Kurt seems to imply that there may have been more to it. He calls it a “simple speeding ticket.” Reading between the unspoken lines, you know the situation was a least more tense than a normal speeding ticket.

Why else would Jack Roush release him from his contract earlier than normal? Why else would Jack Roush come up with some bullshit excuse about the standards mandated by his contract and the team’s contract with the sponsor?

If you guessed, “Because Kurt Busch is a slimy little asshole,” you are correct! When you’re down, your team is supposed to be there for you… not suspend and then fire you. Dude, we’re talking the reigning series champion. Fired before the end of the season. He has no car and no team.

Jack Roush is my hero for being able to explain in very direct, yet polite words what a hassle Kurt Busch has been to the team and how much they wanted him gone.

Let’s start from the beginning. There was an on-track squabble between good ole Kurt and Jimmy I’m A Big Fatass Spencer that boiled over to an off-the-track sucker punch. Kurt hadn’t even gotten out of his car yet when Jimmy reached in and walluped Kurt squarely upon the nose. Whether his nose actually broke or not depends on whose team you belong… or which media outlet.

At any rate, it seems pretty obvious that Kurt was the victim in this case. (Anyone within 20 feet of Jimmy Spencer is unfortunate.) Within days, though, our dear wussy Kurt managed to become one of the most hated NASCAR drivers today. If memory serves me correctly, he won the race the next weekend and got BOOED. Why!? Everyone hates Kurt. Kick ‘em while he’s down.

Scott Wimmer began the 2004 with a drunken driving arrest. Was he suspended? No. Was he fired? No. Was he even put on probation? I don’t think so. Kurt must be the biggest brat NASCAR has ever seen to beat that.

He’s Roger Penske’s problem now.

Next, someone will eventually have to discuss the irony of alcohol companies sponsoring NASCAR teams. Kurt’s current sponsor is Crown Royal. His sponsor next year: Miller Brewing Co.