MLB • The Bad • The Scofflaws

Raffy and ‘Roids

So Rafael Palmeiro has finally publicly explained to the world how he tested positive for steroids, despite his strident claims to Congress, under oath, that’s he’s never used steroids, period.

According to Raffy, the real truth is that he’s never “knowingly” taken steroids, and that the reason all that Stanazol showed up on his test is that he borrowed a vial of a liquid, injectable substance from a teammate (later revealed to be Miguel Tejada) that was labeled B-12, and injected himself with it, believing it to be B-12, when in fact it was really anabolic steroids.

Or, as his lawyer has claimed: “The B-12 was provided to Rafael by a teammate; it was labeled as B-12; and Rafael has always been convinced that his teammate absolutely believed it to be B-12.”

In the World According to Raffy, all of the above clears his good name (and potential spot in Cooperstown). He never knowingly took steroids, he just borrowed some injectable B-12 from his good friend Miguel (who also thought it was injectable B-12), but that damn pesky vial actually turned out to contain steroids, which is why Raffy tested positive, despite never taking steroids, period.

So we the sportsfans are basically left with two scenarios to reconcile this situation:

1) Raffy’s a lying sack of shit and has used steroids in the past.

2) Raffy’s dumb as a sack of hammers and would inject himself with something he borrowed from a teammate and just assume that it was B-12, because, you know, the label on it says so. (And he would do this just after testifying in a very public setting, under oath, before Congress, concerning allegations that he’d used steroids in the past.)

Wait, there’s a third scenario.

3) Raffy’s a lying sack of shit and dumb as a sack of hammers.

You make the call.

(Psst, it’s #3)

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